Sunday, April 19th, 2009
Wow, it’s been awhile since I’ve blogged. I’m in the middle of some change right now; specifically, I have given notice at my job. I only work 2 days a week, so when I gave 2 weeks notice, it meant I only had to work 4 more days. And just in time. The job was hard enough, affording me little break time (if I want to get my job done, that is), but it’s become even more difficult since the executive decision to go from “line cooking” to “short order” cooking. Last Tuesday, I was not able to sit down and rest my feet until 7 hours into the job. And even then, my boss, the consultant managing the transition, had expected me to do more. He’s not evil, though. When I sat down in his office and told him I hadn’t gotten a break yet, he told me to go take one. I would have done it without his permission at that point. My feet were throbbing, my back was hurting, my attitude was stinking… I even told one of my co-workers that I felt like crying. He laughed. “I’m serious,” I said. And I was. Thanks to sleep deprivation, constant standing, and PMS, I was in bad shape. But I was sustained by the thought, “Only two more days after this…”
So I will soon be a free woman. A “kept woman”. Hah. What a terrible phrase, making woman think that just because they don’t earn money they belong more in the category of “pet” than “fellow human”. I’m struggling with the idea of not having a “job”. Even though there are many things that I want to do at home, the fact that they won’t be bringing in money seems to make them less important somehow. And I hate that. I have lists and charts of all the things I want to do with my “extra” time, and despite that, I find myself scanning the classifieds for jobs in the area, “just in case” this whole stay-at-home Mom thing doesn’t work out.
But I hope it does work out.
Thursday, April 2nd, 2009
This month’s Writer’s Digest magazine has an article entitled “Is full time the key to the big time?” The concept itself doesn’t exactly apply to me since if I quit my part time paying job, writing wouldn’t be exactly “full-time”, since I will still have other jobs, such as raising children, caring for my mother-in-law, Baha’i work, etc. If I quit the 16 hours a week as a cook, I could apply some of those hours to writing, but some would definitely go toward other things, like sleeping and more family-related stuff.
I’m having trouble focussing while writing this with hyperactive video game music plinky playing in the background and kids talking chatting cheering. This is one of my jobs – facilitating kid interaction, even if only through video games. But what about writing? I feel like a whiny little kid with all my “Why do I have to have a job?” stuff. I’m not trying to avoid responsibility – I’m trying to face what my real responsibilities are. Writing? Cooking at a retirement home? Complaining on the internet? I need to figure this out, and soon.