Posted on

August 2019

Posted on August 3, 2019

Buddy Words

The other day a coworker introduced me to a new word.

He had asked me to let him know when our boss was available, and I said I might forget. Others in the office volunteered to help me remember. And he called those folks “accountabilibuddies”.

I love that word! It’s got seven syllables, which automatically makes it awesome, plus it’s got rhythm and alliteration and a fun sound to it over all. And it’s useful!

A quick Google search shows my co-worker was likely not the first to use this term, and the word has an almost-as-fun close cousin, “responsibilibuddy”.

These words make me want to think of other words that would sound as good having “buddy” added to the end. It seems the rule to follow is to use words that end in “ible” or “able”.

So here are some examples and their definitions. Feel free to use them if they seem relevant to your situation:

Flammabilibuddy – Arson partner

Affabilibuddy – Fellow friendly person. Or “friend”.

Abilibuddy – A pal who is just as competent as you are

Stabilibuddy – Someone you can lean on (and vice versa)

Remarkabilibuddy – What a guy/gal!

Some words that end in “ble” without the “i” or “a” in front also work:

Scrambilibuddy – Someone who also likes eggs for breakfast

Preambilibuddy – A friend who likes words before other words

And what about:

Practicalibuddy – Realistic friend

Permeabilibuddy – What ameba acquaintances call each other

Ostensibilibuddy – A supposed friend

Opposabilibuddy – Friend who likes to disagree

Have you got any other interesting buddy words? If so, I’d love to hear them!

8/3/19 – addition from my daughter: gullibilibuddy, which I might define as: someone who understands how easy it is to believe unlikely things.

Posted on

July 2019

Posted on July 22, 2019

Request from Mom

My Mom has been requesting a copy of one of my poems, so I will post it here, despite my having already posted something today.  It’s one of the poems I’ve memorized for reciting at friend or family gatherings.

It’s called The Lovely White Flowers that Smell of Poo. 

Enjoy!

Posted on July 21, 2019

Asking for Help

I’ve been stuck lately. There are different ways to describe it – hopeless, depressed, attenuated to failure.

Another way could be numb – to creativity, to possibility of change and fulfilling my potential. I go to my daily job, do what needs to be done from 8:30am to 3pm, maybe run an errand after work, go home, make dinner, and do very little the rest of the evening until I can finally put myself to bed with the justification that I have to get up for work the next day.

Somehow I manage to get the BARE minimum of my other duties accomplished. I do enough laundry to have something clean to wear, shop in little bits here and there to keep a modicum of food on hand, shower at least every other day. As far as my Baha’i responsibilities are concerned, there are assembly duties I have literally been avoiding for years, including archiving old assembly papers, calling National to ask about assembly business, updating membership and records. Guilt weighs heavy on me, but is only partially why I have so little energy to move forward.

Doug sees my struggles. He’s amazingly patient with me – more than I am with myself. He found a person online who offers life coaching and encouraged me to give her a call. (Her name is Penelope Trunk.) I have been considering it, but she charges $350 for a 1 hour phone call. And though the hour may give me some of the direction and momentum I need, there are several reasons I drag my feet.

1. $350 is about what I get paid for 3 6-hour days at work. For 18 hours I do my day gig for 1 hour of her time. I get spending anxiety as it is, and given our money situation, I don’t feel good about this ratio of input to output. Yes, due to not having insurance this year, we have some savings. But that will be spent on my dental implant, plus I would really like to replace the tub in the girls’ house, since it is gross, at best, and full of heath-damaging black mold at worst.

2. The Baha’i writings talk about asking God for help – a version of “ask and ye shall receive”. It feels like I am betraying God, like I don’t have full faith in Him if I ask someone else for help without asking God first.

Then again, I am reminded of the joke about the guy whose home is in the path of flood waters. People come to his door to warn him and offer to drive him to a safe zone. But his answer is, “God will save me.” Then, when the water enters his home, a rescuer in a boat comes by to pick him up. But the man refuses to go, saying “God will save me.” The flood is so bad that eventually the homeowner has to climb onto the roof to escape the waters. A helicopter comes to take him off the roof, but again he stays put, saying, “God will save me.” The man dies and goes to heaven, where he confronts God – “Why didn’t you save me?” God’s reply is, “What do you mean? I sent you a car, a boat, and a helicopter!”

So maybe Penelope Trunk is one of those versions of help that I need to accept and be grateful for.

But maybe I haven’t asked God for help in the proper way. Or maybe I haven’t listened well enough or comprehended His answer.

This is not a new issue for me, trying to figure out my destiny, my calling, and reconcile whatever that is with my need to earn money. I found a couple of undated, penciled poems on a random note pad today. The pages before them contain sketches of ideas for “Word Ferd” products. “Food for inner nourishment and outer decoration”, I have written. A knitted hat with “word ferd” on the brim. A skirt whose hem says “wordswordswords…” all the way around. A list of other products that could feature words on them: belts, t-shirts, shoelaces, earrings, etc. A list of things to purchase: “ACE 14-16 guage wire, gallon Ziplocs, Value Village – shelf- white mesh (hang on wall), baubles & pretties, Misc. tool things.”

Then there’s a poem about our old therapist who left town without explanation. (I can post that in Poems later).

And then this:

Resolve
To think and feel
To see and hear,
To know, but not to judge.
The plan
Is to feel out options.
Long term plans
Depend on the time/place frame.
But if I am a frameless picture,
Then plans are plain and bold,
Unhindered by thoughts that supposedly made them.
Spontaneity is a plan
Made less-than-seconds ahead,
And a million years ago,
Like a seed that finally feels
Its time is right to grow.
I resolve to dissolve
All plans and expectations
In the ocean of True Self,
To let them wash ashore
One by one
Until maybe I see a pattern
And can fish out what really matters.
Until then,
I let myself float
In a sea of all,
And resolve.

I will post an updated version of the above under “Poems”.

And I will ask God what to do.

I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that this is a difficult prospect for me. As Baha’u’llah said, “…souls shall be perturbed as they make mention of Me. For minds cannot grasp Me nor hearts contain Me.”

Even when I want to ask God what to do with my life, I don’t know exactly how to do it. Also, how do I hear the answer with all the noisiness of my neuroses and other issues?

I feel like life is way too complicated, with too many unrelated parts to make them work together coherently.

Then again, the human body is made of many seemingly unrelated parts that all work together quite wonderfully.

I believe that a Divine Force created human beings.

And I believe that Life, as an emanation of this force, offers innumerable metaphors for humanity’s education. The human body is one of my favorite metaphors.

So, with that, I take my brain, with its current pre-migraine sensations, and my strangely tweaky left shoulder, and my skin, basking in warmth and reveling in the cooling breeze, and I ask God, the Creator, to take these disparate elements that make up this person I have been made to be, and to move them into a fully functioning, Self-actualized form.

And to please help me recognize the modes of transportation that have been divinely sent to help me.

Posted on

June 2019

Posted on June 24, 2019

3 Poems About Food

I’m back from a week of vacationing. This year we stayed in Rockaway Beach, OR, home of the Pronto Pup, which claims to have been the first and original corn dog. It was there where we ate corn dogs and fries and soda, and took pictures of each other riding the corn dog ride (think quarter-fed horsey ride, but replace the horse with a 3.5 foot-long corn dog with 2.5 foot-long stick). A white uniform-wearing employee with matching white food-service hat took pictures of all 9 of us (including Briggs, the dog) in front of the Pronto Pup sign before we went our separate ways –  Maki and family driving south, and Mandts plus Mom headed back north.

AND, this morning, for some reason, I wrote three poems about food. Two of them, though probably not complete, are ready enough for public viewing. Please find them under “Poems”: “Have Your Cake and Eat it” and “Lemons”. Enjoy!

Posted on June 6, 2019

Opposable

This Sunday, the Baha’is of Burien are hosting a Race Unity picnic in Puget Sound Park. I will be in charge of the craft station, which will feature badge/button-making, coloring, and making tissue paper flowers. I will also recite some of my poetry which carries a message of unity in diversity.

I’ll introduce the first poem, “Opposable” with something like the following:

The Baha’i writings tell us that all of humanity must be united.

Baha’u’llah, the founder of the Baha’i Faith, helps us understand how diverse peoples can unite by comparing the world of humanity to the human body. Human beings, no matter how different from each other, are all connected and work toward the same goal, in the same way that all the different parts of the body, no matter how different, are all part of the same organism.

All parts of the body are united not despite their differences, but because of them. Every part of the body has a role to play, and is perfect in its own way.

I would like to recite a poem that helps illustrate this theme of unity in diversity. The title of the poem is “Opposable”

[Please find it under the Poems section above.]

Posted on June 1, 2019 by sydneymandt

Stories for Kids and Others

I’ve written a poem – “Ways to Tell a Story”. (Please find it in the “Poems” section above.)

I have what I call a “Sesame Street” mentality, in which many of my poems and songs are written. I call it that in part to soften the blow of some people’s reactions. On more than one occasion I have recited to someone one of my original (often freshly written) pieces, which I consider deep and meaningful, and the reaction has been that it’s good for kids. Not that writings for children can’t be deep and meaningful – it’s just not what I was going for.

Now, as a form of self-defense, I often silently put what I write in the category of “for kids”, though I look for the opportunity to move into into some other, more respected category, depending on how it’s received.

I don’t like that I do that, for a few reasons:

  1. It implies that children’s literature is inferior.
  2. It implies that what I write is not worthwhile if it’s for children (or simple enough for children to appreciate).
  3. It hurts my feelings.

I need to keep writing, appreciating what I create, making it the best it can be, no matter who the audience may be – even if that audience is just me.

Posted on

May 2019

Posted on May 20, 2019

Some Nerve

This weekend I accomplished little except to rest and ride out the pain of a migraine. Migraines are the in category of “headache”, but in my experience, more than the head is involved. Of  course pain anywhere in the body never affects only that body part. Being connected as one united organism, the whole body is affected, though some parts more than others. When a migraine comes upon me, it could start in the neck (left side, usually), or behind my left eyeball, and it often moves down into the shoulder blade and leaves my whole body aching. Any normal movement – pouring myself water, hugging my husband – leaves me breathing heavily, grasping for oxygen, and I yawn profusely. My vision gets blurry, and the pain makes it hard to think. When it’s at it’s worst, I break out into a full-body sweat and succumb to dry heaves.

Good times!

The title of this post comes from an old-fashioned phrase. If someone did something inappropriate, rude, too bold, it could be commented that the person had “some nerve”. “The nerve of that guy,” was another phrase used. I wonder about the origins of that. Could it be that people really thought that there was a nerve in the person’s body that was responsible for their behavior? I don’t know how migraines come about, but the pain feels like it could be following the line of a nerve – some sensitive nerve, fritzing out like a frayed cord – that reverberates its malfunction body-wide.

It seems odd that one nerve, out of the billions (I think?) nerves in the body, could cause such havoc and completely disable a person for a whole, sunny weekend.

But it also makes sense. No nerve is an island unto itself.

Posted on May 14, 2019

Truth to Power!

I have not been posting as regularly as I like, but the only way to remedy that is to post something. Funny how my mind seems to think that I should, instead of writing, feel bad about not writing, which then reinforces no writing happening, since it’s hard to write when I feel like I’m a failure at writing.

Truth to power!

That phrase doesn’t necessarily relate to the above paragraph, but it entered my mind this morning, for some reason, and eventually I wrote something inspired by it. I put it under stories. Enjoy!

Posted on

March 2019

Posted on March 28, 2019 by sydneymandt

Wednesday Post! (May this start a trend…)

Doug is dutifully and admirably working on his computer, creating visual art to post on Instagram, and I am following his creative example. We sit side by side on our couch, with blanket-filled space between us, both with laptops in our laps.

I’ve been thinking about the poem I posted most recently – Us. I’ve decided that the ending is a bit awkward, because “we”, when read aloud, could also be heard/visualized as “wee”. On one hand, it seems unlikely that a reader would hear this pronoun-heavy poem and think that I was referring to urine with that word, instead of the first person plural pronoun. But on the other hand, I couldn’t get it out of my mind, so others may notice the homophone issue as well. Also, since there’s a precedent within the poem for playing around with words, maybe readers would consider that I threw in a double meaning for fun.

However, I do mean “we”, not “wee”, and since I may read this aloud to an audience someday, I decided to experiment with a version of the poem that is less ambiguous. Here is what I came up with:

Us

This and That loved Those and These

But always avoided Them.

They liked Them and a little of That,

But These were never Their friends.

It felt It didn’t belong with Them,

But was chummy with Hes and Shes.

Them like That and That liked Those,

But neither were fans of These.

One day They and Them met at

A stop with Hes and Shes.

Up walked Those and This and That,

Joined by It and These.

It followed the motley group as It

Boarded a local bus,

And panicked, until It recalled that We,

Together, all make Us.

Posted on March 24, 2019 by sydneymandt

Plan and Poem

Here it is, Sunday, March 24th, and I have not followed my blog posting plan. I may have been too ambitious to set a goal of posting something four times a week, at least just starting out. So I’m revamping the plan to follow that of my husband, who posts on social media twice a week, on Sunday and Wednesday. He shows amazing discipline in doing this, so if I follow his example, and sit down to blog when Doug sits down to do his bi-weekly Instagram drawing, I will be more likely to get it done. I’m hoping it will be like a bicyclist drafting a large truck, going speeds way beyond his or her own leg power by letting him-or-herself be pulled along in the lead vehicle’s slip stream.

The above paragraph fertilized two thoughts in my mind.

  1. According to Wikipedia, “drafting can significantly reduce the paceline‘s average energy expenditure required to maintain a certain speed and can also slightly reduce the energy expenditure of the lead vehicle or object.” Wha….?! Could it be that being followed can actually make the effort of leading easier? When I put it that way, it actually makes sense. But as far as physics is concerned, I find the idea a little confounding.
  2. I’ve been thinking about pronouns lately, both in general (as evidenced by the poem I wrote and will post today, Us), and also those that are gender specific. Notice the clunky “he or she” and “him-or-herself” references above. I suppose I could have used the word “one”, saying “one’s own leg power” and “letting oneself be pulled along”. It works, but it seems a little awkward or old-fashioned to me. Doug brought to my attention that some folks are using the pronoun ze to refer to a person without referring to zeir gender. (I used “zeir” there instead of “their” or “him or her”.) But if ze replaces he and she, what form of it replaces him or her? Zim? Zer? Fertilizer for future writings.
  3. Check out my husband’s Instagram Page, Ethical Creatures. He’s a brilliant artist with a penchant for the humorously bizarre. (Or maybe bizarrely humorous?)

Today’s writing is a poem entitled Us. I’m still trying to figure out if I should put it in this blog post, just refer to it here and post it in full on the poem page, or do both.

For now, I will do both. So here’s the poem, also available for viewing under the Poems heading.

Us

This and That loved Those and These

But always avoided Them.

They liked Them and a little of That,

But These were never their friends.

It felt It didn’t belong with Them,

But was chummy with He’s and She’s.

Them like That and That liked Those,

But neither were fans of These.

When He and She and This and That

And They met on a bus,

It saw Them and These and Those

And started to make a fuss.

Until It noticed Them and They

And Those and He and She,

Along with These and This and That

Together all make We.

Posted on March 11, 2019 by sydneymandt

2019/2020 Spring to Spring plan

“Something Old,

Something New,

Something Borrowed,

Something Blue,

And a silver sixpence in her shoe.”

The above phrase refers to the old tradition concerning lucky objects a bride must have with her when she is getting married.

The somethings old and blue were supposed to ward off the Evil Eye, which could render the bride infertile.

The something borrowed was traditionally the undergarments of a married woman with kids, encouraging the new bride’s fertility. I wonder if the bride actually wore some other woman’s underwear. (Ew.)

The new something signified optimism in the future, and the silver sixpence symbolized prosperity.

As I was thinking about restarting Word Ferd, I thought of this marriage-related phrase and was inspired. I am not getting married, but I am beginning a new phase of writing that I hope is fruitful, collaborative, and full of goodness. (Incidentally, by this metaphor, I am a Blog divorcee on my third marriage.)

My idea is to follow this writing schedule:

Monday: Something Old – This will be a place for me to post my old writings or talk about anything else that the word “old” inspires me to write.

Wednesday: Something New – This will be a poem, short story, or essay I have written during the week of the current blog post.

Saturday: Something Borrowed – Here I will share other people’s words, such as quotes that have inspired me, links to other blogs, or comments on what I am currently reading.

Sunday: Something Blue – I define this broadly as anything that reminds me of one of the many connotations associated with the word/color blue. Carl Jung saw blue as a spiritual color. Blue can also describe inappropriate language, a state of sadness, and it can be the springboard for a million other ideas.

Silver Sixpence – Although I won’t devote a specific day of writing to this lucky object, I will keep in mind that writing practice is helping me to become rich in skills and abilities, which may or may not someday lead to monetary remuneration.

Posted on

March 2016

Posted on March 24, 2016 by sydneymandt

Random Words

I’m three weeks behind in my story-writing goals, and in order to catch up, I think I will resort to “flash fiction”, very short short stories, like the one I posted yesterday, entitled Wasted. That one just came to me, as a poem might, with a beginning sentence gathering images and metaphors around it.

I might also use the three-word method I’ve used in the past. I take a random book, open to a random page, and point, without looking, at a random word. I write that word down, then repeat the process twice. With these three words I then generate a story. The chosen words don’t have to be central to the story, just included in it. Sometimes the words inspire a situation or setting, or they may just be generic, anytime words. But often they can help get the story ball rolling.

So that’s a new, temporary goal: write 3 new stories in the next week or 4 new stories in the next 2 weeks.

Posted on March 23, 2016

Why?

I have not blogged in awhile.

This is disheartening for me, but I need to rehearten myself so that I can get moving again. This period has felt like a bad-weather stretch of already depressing weather. Metaphorically speaking. Although the actual weather around here hasn’t been what I would consider inspirational, either. Lots of rain. Lots of gray and cold. Spring is still springing, however, with green popping up everywhere and promising delightful colors and patterns and textures.

I’ve been able to do a little bit of yard and garden design here and there when the sun reveals itself and I have time to go outside. I wish I could spend hours and hours outside, weeding, planting, and doing the many little things that make for a beautiful yard. But I’ll take the few minutes I get here and there, the hour or so I can squeeze out on the weekends or evenings.

As far as my writing is concerned, I’m not sure what will kick me back into regular blog and story production. An inspirational video has gone around the internet in which the speaker says if we know our “why”, the “how” becomes much more clear.

So why do I want to write regularly? Some ideas that come to mind but which may or may not be completely applicable are:

  • I want to develop writing skills. Again, though: why? Because I want to express myself? Because Baha’u’llah says we need to have some sort of craft and profession, and that seems to be one of the few potentially money-earning skills I have left in my arsenal?
  • I like having habits that help me to improve somehow, or at least not to slip downward. Writing encourages me to be conscious of my motivations and the motivations of others.
  • I need escape from a somewhat monotonous reality that doesn’t seem to lead to much forward-moving positive change.

I don’t know if those why’s helped. They don’t seem very motivating. I’d like to have a more tangible goal, such as getting a book published (novel? short stories? poems?),  getting an mfa in creative writing, becoming a teacher. But I don’t feel attached to any of those goals, especially given their seeming unlikelihood.

So i guess I need to think about that why question. Why have the goal of daily blogging and weekly story writing? Is it just for the sake of having some kind of goal?

Posted on March 16, 2016

TBT (Throwback Tuesday) – Dedication

I have posted a story I wrote in 2002 and 2003 as part of a Creative Nonfiction Writing course. Dedication is about the birth of my second daughter. Please find it in the Stories section.

Posted on March 16, 2016 by sydneymandt

Needing routine

My MIL has been home for about a week now, and I’m getting back into the groove of caregiving. I find it hard to concentrate while caring for her because of the ever-present possibility of interruption. It’s difficult to let (or make) myself write when I know that any minute I could be ripped out of my reverie. Whatever flow I may have developed up to that point becomes a drip that dries up. And my whole day is like that. My housekeeping, chauffeuring, cooking, and caring duties happen in smatterings. And that’s not so bad when I’m doing things that I don’t enjoy much. But if I’m writing (or reading) something, I prefer a long stretch of time (at least an hour) to do just that. And I’m lucky if I get time to focus for 15 minutes at a stretch.

So if I want to write regularly, I need to come up with some sort of solution. I’ve been pretty good at exercising every day – same place and time and same set of DVD’s. But writing? The when and where of that are less consistent. I need to develop a workable plan. I’m a few weeks behind on my story-writing, but I’m hopeful that I can catch up.

Posted on March 6, 2016

Lovely Sunday

Sunshine bounces off the side of the neighbor’s white-painted once-was-a-uhaul truck and into my eyes, adding brightness to a moderately (Seattle) bright morning.

I’m sitting at the kitchen table while Batman, our mostly-outdoor cat, stares at me from his post on the wood railing outside the kitchen window. Occasionally he’ll put his paw up to the window screen and open his mouth with an inaudible meow. He’s already been fed, and it’s not too cold outside, plus his eyes close in relaxation, as if he might fall asleep, so I feel no urgency to let him in.

My MIL will come home Tuesday, returning from the nursing home where she’s been rehabilitating. Doug and I have been rehabilitating, too, taking advantage of time when we can go out and do things together – even if it is just getting our taxes done or bringing one of the family cars to the mechanic for repairs.

We also got to attend a friend’s birthday gathering together. The man of the hour did a pretty good impression of Donald Trump, a major topic of the evening.

Baha’is are not supposed to get involved in partisan politics. My take on it is that we are supposed to judge people by the content of their character (borrowing a phrase from Martin Luther King) rather than their political party. I’m not encouraged by what I observe from Trump’s words and actions. Baha’is are also not supposed to backbite – it’s one of the worst things we can do. So spending an evening in which Donald Trump was the topic of conversation was a huge challenge for me. I did a lot of head shaking. And saying things, too. Darn it.

Clouds are diffusing back into the sky cover, as they are wont to do around here. But if I need an extra blast of light, I can always look outside to the white side surface of my neighbor’s ex-u-haul-truck.

Posted on March 4, 2016 by sydneymandt

Slowing down for Fast

It’s the fourth day of the Baha’i Fast: no eating or drinking during the day. I’ve modified my Fast to accommodate some of my health issues, which means I still drink water and maybe juice if I feel dizzy or faint. I think the caffeine headache may finally be over. I still drink one cup in the morning, but I might reduce even that over the course of the next 15 or so days left in the Fast.

I’d like to focus on the spiritual aspects of life, which is one of the purposes of the Fast. Mostly, though, I end up feeling sleepy and cold, wanting to nap for a large portion of the day. Keeping up morning exercises and daily garden work (in wet, cold weather) has been difficult. But it all must be done in the spirit of little by little, day by day.

It’s 8:46am, and I’m considering lying down. But it I do, there’s no telling when I’l get up again.

Posted on March 2, 2016 by sydneymandt

Back on the Writing Wagon

I’ve just posted Week 7’s story, Tuesday. I think I’m a few weeks behind on my weekly stories, but I need to get myself a calendar on which I can keep track much better.

Motivation has been difficult for me, but once i start writing, I love it, losing myself in it. I need to get back on my writing wagon instead of falling off into the muddiness of bad attitude.

So, Week 8’s story is on it’s way. Then I need to crank out a quick Week 9 story, so that I’m back on track and can write more regularly.

Posted on

February 2016

Posted on February 26, 2016

TBT – Annoying morning song

“Annoying” would be the perspective of my sister, to whom I used to sing this song when we were roommates in college in 1989 or 1990. I think it’s a refreshing ray of bird-songy sunshine! Maybe it’s more fun to sing it than to be sung at with it.

Anyway, please check it out under Songs: Maki’s Wakeup Call.

Category: Uncategorized

Posted on February 26, 2016 by sydneymandtLeave a comment

Must dig dirt

The sun has been out the last couple of days! Being a Seattlite, I have felt compelled, and even obligated, to go outside to experience the modicum of warmth and the no-rain dryness. Spring! Pre-spring! Whatever it is, I have loved being outside digging in my garden, reconfiguring the dirt to create a raised garden bed and to make pathways and spaces for rock sculptures. I will use cardboard and bark as groundcovers to keep the weeds down.

I have forgotten to blog for about a week now, partly due to the weather, and also because I’ve been distracted by my MIL’s current stay in a rehab center and upcoming Baha’i celebrations. Ayyam-i-Ha begins tomorrow with games and craft-making, continues with giving those crafts to the residents of the previously mentioned rehab center the day after that, and ends with a Sunday evening at the Family Fun Center.

I think I would get a lot more writing done if I didn’t have the distractions of responsibilities. At least I don’t have a job outside of the home. And while MIL is being cared for and rehabbed elsewhere, I do have time to choose my own activities instead of having them all preplanned and accounted for. Unfortunately, I often choose to spend my time playing Candy Crush Saga or watching TV. Housework gets in there sometimes, too.

But what about writing!?!

I didn’t finish a story for last week, so now I owe my website two stories, one for Week 7, and one for Week 8. I have both of them started, but not ready to publish. I must get them done! But with sunshine and a very busy weekend ahead, I may have to submit 3 stories next week. Gleep!

Here’s hoping I can get back into a one-story-a-week habit soon.

Posted on February 20, 2016

Hospitality

Week 7’s story may be late, as in sometime after Saturday, which is tomorrow. For the last few days my MIL has been in the hospital. Fortunately, we live less than 20 blocks from there, so going back and forth takes very little time, and is actually on my route to and from Jo’s school.

I haven’t done much fiction writing, though. I’m not sure how I’ll concentrate on writing a story when my insides are jittery from the stress of the unknown. My MIL is tiny and frail, yet surprisingly strong in some ways, so every hospitalization is a roller coaster of states of health. Right now, the doctors are treating an issue that seemed to be getting worse anyway, though maybe now it’s getting better. At least she is in a good mood, even enjoying the hospital experience of not having to get out of bed much – today it was only once, and she resisted greatly.

So, my mind and heart and my desire to know what’s going to happen are preoccupations I will have to overcome for the sake of writing. Tomorrow.

Posted on February 18, 2016

Good Habits

I need to develop the habit of writing a blog post every day. I’ve been reading Better Than Before, by Gretchen Rubin, in which she writes about habits, ways to develop them, and what ways work best for specific people.

This is one of those times of the year during which I think a lot about habits. The Baha’i Fast is coming up – 19 days in the beginning of March during which Baha’is do not eat or drink while the sun is up. It is a lovely time to develop the habits of remembering and relying on God, reading sacred verses, and asking for divine assistance. But I also look forward to the Fast with some amount of anxiety.

The Fast has become very difficult for me as I get older, both mentally and physically (not surprising, since the two are related). What often starts as a sort of exhilaration and freedom from food usually becomes an obsession with food towards the end, when I start planning dinner in the early afternoon and can think of almost nothing but food until the end. I have also slipped into depression, sleeping much of the day and attending to the bare minimum of my responsibilities.

More than once, I have started a positive habit in January, gathered habit momentum by February, then had that habit derailed during the Fast, contributing to feelings of low self-worth that deepen my Fast-related depression. These are usually habits that have helped me battle depression, too, such as exercise and diet changes.

The Fast has different significance for different people. I see the Fast, theoretically, as a time to develop and strengthen habits that foster spiritual well-being. But in reality, Fast has become, for me, more of a habit disrupter, from which it can take me a month or more to recover.

Although fasting is a Baha’i Law, it is one we are not supposed to do if we are sick. Often it is up to the individual to decide if they are too ill to Fast. Depression is an illness, and I have to consider this whenever the Fast comes up.

It’s hard for me to predict how or if fasting will affect the writing habits I am trying to develop. But worrying about it has not helped. In fact, one of the main benefits of habits are that you don’t have to think or worry about them to make them happen – they are habitual, and just get done.

So my prayer/wish is that this Fast helps me break down some of my bad habits (such as playing hours of mindless, time-wasting Facebook games) and build up some positive new ones (like writing!).

Posted on February 14, 2016 by sydneymandt

Truthful and Positive

I’ve been letting winter blah keep me from blahgging, even though my goal is to post something every day.

Part of my reticence is represented by the injunction:  “if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all”.

If, in the interest on my daily goal, I manage to post something “nice”, even if I feel yukky, am I being hypocritical? I’m not a fan of hyprocrisy, and in fact I try to live according to the Baha’i writings which say, “Truthfulness is the foundation of all human virtues.” Is feeling lousy and posting something non-lousy being untruthful?

I don’t think so. There is always something positive going on somewhere within an otherwise lousy experience. For example, I’m a human being. That’s a pretty miraculous place to start.

I remember my Mom told me about a time in the late 60’s, maybe early 70’s, when so-called honesty was a very popular trend. Someone once said to her, for the sake of honesty, that she hated the dress Mom was wearing.

Yeah, well. Honesty doesn’t require full disclosure.

Story-telling comes to mind. When I create a human character, I assume this character does a myriad of things that aren’t relevant to the story. This person defecates, scratches an itch once in awhile, pays bills, blinks, breathes, farts, etc. Some of these things may be important to the story I’m telling, but some won’t be.

This character I refer to as myself has been experiencing a fair amount of internal negativity of late. Some of the parts relevant to this blog include the fact that I didn’t feel like writing anything this morning, let alone something I would post on the internet. However, when I started writing, I kept going, and I enjoyed it. Hey! Positivity!

It’s a blog post!

Posted on February 11, 2016

Week 6 story is up!

Go to “Short Stories”. I haven’t been able to make the menu work yet – only Week One’s story shows up. But week’s 2 through 6 are there as well (plus a TBT).

Posted on February 11, 2016 by sydneymandt

Immersed

My week 6 story is almost done – a couple days ahead of schedule!

I love getting caught up in writing a story or poem or song. I’m grateful that my life is set up for me to be able to immerse myself in story writing and rewriting for hours (though oft-interrupted hours) at a time. My MIL needs help standing up, getting her coffee and water to where she’ll be sitting, and of course I prep and serve meals, help her in the bathroom, make the bed, do laundry, wash dishes. But when she’s walking slowly but steadily to one of her comfy chairs, or sitting in said comfy chair, I have time to write. What a blessing.

ALSO – it’s Throwback Thursday (TBT). Time to dig into my physical or digital files and dredge up something that very few (or no) people have seen other than myself. I’ll put it in the story section for now, though I’m considering having TBT as a separate category (is there a more accurate word than category?) with its own pages. I’ll see.

Posted on February 8, 2016

TBT – a poem called Sunshine and Rain

Today is not a day that begins with T, but I’m going to pretend it is for the sake of sharing this throwback poem I just found on my computer. It looks like I may have written it in January of 2012.

I’m not sure if I should put this under the Poems section, or if I should make a new Throwback section. I’m open to ideas.

In the meantime, if anyone wants to see a throwback piece of writing, a search for TBT will bring it up.

So here’s a contribution for Throwback TMonday!

Sunshine and Rain

Sunshine filtered through clouds and rain,

Silence invaded by rooftop refrain,

Reminds me I’m sheltered from weather’s pain.

And in gray there is light, and I see.

Giddy from freedom yet overcome

With so much to do and to run away from

I sit cozy and thinking, a blanket bum,

My mind resting radically.

Why must I die before I awake

To wait for Heaven my soul to take,

When living and dying in unison shake

And filter our essences free?

A jay bird shrieks at me just outside.

I’m calm and crazy, eyes open wide,

Possibilities, real life, side by side.

I’m a blue, flying, blissful ennui.

If I’ve one thing to tell you, please tell me, too.

I see the truth better reflected in you.

Opposites clashing into something true,

Clouds and sky framing the trees.

Kill me now, Something of Marvelousness.

Reincarnate me apart from my mess.

Wash me down, light me up, make me confess

Blue-jay loud declarations of me.

Posted on February 8, 2016 by sydneymandt

Week 5 Story – Sylvia

It’s there on the short story page. Having a goal of one story per week is helping me shed some of my perfectionism, procrastination, and just-give-it-up-ism. It’s just a story. I’m skill-building. Even if it’s bad, it’s all good.

Posted on February 6, 2016 by sydneymandt

Week 7 Story – Tuesday

I heard my Auntie Mim as if she was far away, even though she was next to my body.

“Tuesday! Wake up! What happened?”

Her voice was strained with urgency. I knew my eyes were closed, but I could see her as if looking through a window into a dark room, her hand on a face I knew was mine, but which I couldn’t feel.

“I’m okay Auntie Mim,” I said, but she couldn’t hear me. I could sense the uneven floorboards underneath me. I could see my hand holding the hand of another about my size, and that we formed an “H” lying there, our arms the middle line.

Auntie Mim knelt between us, her body drooped and vibrating with sobs. “Cuffee,” she whispered. I felt an answering smile, like the thrumming of hummingbird wings, and then it flew away. When I turned to see where it was going, I woke up in my body, and opened my eyes.

Mimba was the sister of my mama, whose name was Bena. My mama and I both had the same name, really, because we were both born on the same day of the week.  But we were born on the opposite ends of the ocean, so mama made the names different to show it.

I don’t remember my father. Auntie Mim said he was a tall man with wide shoulders and big, strong arms. He was allotted to another man who needed someone strong on his farm.

I remember a little more of my mother, but not much. She was allotted to someone in Georgia who wanted a pretty house slave. I don’t have pictures of my mama, but I can see her face in my memory, so close to my mine, pretending to nibble on my chin and nose. “You’re so sweet, I could eat you up!” she would say. That’s mostly what I remember about my mama. She was taken away in the second year of my life.

Auntie Mim was pretty like my mama, and the master took a liking to her so much that he wouldn’t allow her to marry no one. He gave her a cabin for her own, so he could visit on some nights. He also let her keep me instead of him selling me or allotting me to someone else.

Auntie Mim and I were house slaves. I helped in the nursery, playing with the master’s children by his wife, helping change their diapers and doing the washing. Master John had children with some of the slave women, too, but he never claimed them. Mistress Abigail, his wife, looked the other way, unless she thought Master John was getting too attached to his child’s mama. Then she’d sell the child without Master John knowing. Some said she’d done worse than that, but either way, no one would see the child ever again.

When I was 6 years old, Auntie Mim got pregnant with Master John’s child. Everybody pretended that the child belonged to Big Cuffee, the cook that Auntie Mim was friendly with. But everybody knew who the father really was. Then one day, Big Cuffee was gone. Nobody knew where or why.

When Auntie had her baby, I could feel that something was wrong with him. He seemed mostly normal, all toes and fingers accounted for. Mama June, who helped with the birthing, said he was handsome. Auntie Mim saw only her own little baby, wrapped up in a cloud of love. She named him Cuffee.

Cuffee stayed in the nursery where I could hold him and keep an eye on him. Mistress June wasn’t happy about it, but Master John had made a promise to Auntie Mim that little Cuffee wouldn’t ever be sent away. But a promise from a master don’t mean much, especially with a jealous mistress standing by. But Auntie Mim and I held onto that promise like a butterfly cupped in the palm of our hands, something we wanted to appreciate, but couldn’t look at for fear it would fly away.

Cuffee had the colic real bad, and Mistress Abigail complained about the noise, so I took to wrapping him up around my body with a sheet. Mama June showed me the best way, keeping him snug on my back so I could still change the white children’s diapers, still do the washing and cleaning and play with the little ones when they was fussy. That way the mistress couldn’t complain that Cuffee needed to go because he was noisy or taking all my time – ‘cause he did neither one.

Even though Cuffee seemed better for awhile, I still felt something wrong with Li’l Cuffee something moving inside him. It made his body wiggle and squirm almost constantly, even as his hands and feet tensed up.

One day Cuffee yelled out in pain, then cried and cried, no matter what I did. Later he calmed down, but when I changed Cuffee’s diaper I found a crystalline, orange-colored rock, like a clump of hardened sugar, and little spots of blood.  I hid the diaper, washed it right away so’s no one would see. ‘Specially not Mistress Abigail, who looked for any excuse to get rid of one of Master’s slave children. I told Auntie Mim, though, and Mama June.

We tried to give Cuffee different foods to help, like mashed milk curds, sprinkled with one of Mama Junes special herb powders. But I could tell Cuffee was just getting worse. He didn’t grow as fast as other children, which made it easier to hold him, but he also didn’t walk when other children did, which made holding him necessary sometimes. All this made Mistress Abigail angry – or at least gave her an excuse to show it.

When Cuffee was almost two years old, he started biting himself. He had always had strange little hand and feet movements, jerking them here and there, or waving them around. Sometimes he banged his arms or feet on the floor or the wall. And when he got stronger, he would lift his head and bang it on the floor, so we had to put soft blankets under him. He would put his hands in his mouth, too, but that seemed like normal baby behavior until he started making himself bleed. He’d bite so hard, he’d like to bite his fingers off. Plus he chomped on his lips. He always had open wounds on his lower lip, especially. They never had time to scab up, let alone heal.

Strange, but the worse Cuffee got, the more it seemed Mistress Abigail settled down to liking him. She stopped caring about how much time I spent with him, and she would even come up to him in his crib where he could sit up in the corner and see what was going on in the room. She would bend over him, her big circle of skirt bunching up in waves on the floor, and she’d say, “Little Cuffee. You are your father’s child, aren’t you?”

At first I was confused, since everybody, including the mistress, knew who Cuffee’s real father was. But Auntie Mim explained to me that it was the mistress’ way of bad-mouthing Master John without saying it plain. Auntie Mim said it was a blessing that Cuffee was the way he was, because it meant no one would want to take him, so he would never be sent away.

I tried so hard to get Cuffee to talk. But mostly he just mumbled and blurted out sounds that made no sense. “Say Tuesday,” I would tell him. We had cut off the legs of his crib so it could hold his weight once he got bigger, and since it was on the ground, it could also hold me. I would sit across from Cuffee playing hand games to the rhythm of whatever word I tried to teach him. “Cu” –clap- “Fee” –clap-, over and over. “Tues” –clap- “Day” –clap-. And repeat.

But it wasn’t until one day when I fell asleep in his crib with him that he finally talked to me.

The master and missus were gone to visit Granny Swann, who was ailing, and they had taken their four little ones with them. That meant that I was supposed to be doing the laundry or helping clean the house. Even so, the other house slaves plus Auntie Mim decided to give me a break and let me just be Cuffee’s caretaker for one day. I hadn’t known how worn out I was until I sat in the crib singing songs to Cuffee, and I started nodding off. Normally, that would be my cue to get up and move around, do something active and keep myself going. But instead, with nothing else pressing, and no one to protest, when Cuffee lay down for his nap, I lay down, too, just to rest my bones a bit.

Then I was standing in the cotton field, where the field slaves were bent over cotton bolls, pulling at the white fluff. The new pickers always had bloody hands, where they had poked themselves with the burr that held the cotton at its base. Pickers who had been at it a long time knew how to grab at the bolls without getting stuck by the burrs. Plus, they built up callouses on their fingers. I stood next to a girl about my age at the time, around 10 years old, who crouched down next to a cotton plant. I couldn’t see her face, bein’ it was covered by a cloth wrapped around her forehead and at the base of her neck. But I could see that her fingers were bleeding as she put boll after boll of cotton into her shoulder bag.

I heard steps on the dirt behind me, so I turned to see a little boy of about four years old walking toward me. He held a stick that he dragged along the ground, making a little snake trail following him up to me. He looked up at me and smiled, looking so familiar with his tan skin and wavy black hair and his milk-chocolate-colored eyes.
“Cuffee!” I looked at him with wonder. He stood straight and tall, cute as a baby button, joy radiating from his body the way the buzz of cicadas emanated from the trees above and around us. He had no bite marks or scars of any kind, and he sparkled with something that made me cry and pick him up, hugging him and swinging him around, despite the fact of his weight, which was so much more than the Cuffee I knew.

When I set him down and looked at him, something had changed. His posture slumped a little, his spine slightly twisted. I noticed the blood running over the scars on his hands, and my tears stopped in the shock of moving so quickly from joy to concern. I took his hands in mine, inspecting them, then looked up to his face, where a smile still sparkled from his eyes.

“Why are your hands bleeding?” I asked.

His smile burst open into the warmth of unsung laughter.

“So yours don’t have to!”

I opened my eyes then, and saw that I was lying on my side in the crib, facing Cuffee. He looked at me, thumping his feet on the crib’s floor and making the blurbling sounds he often did. I got a feeling that we had both had the same dream.

When I was eleven years old, Auntie Mim got herself a sweetheart from amongst the field workers. He was an allotted slave by the name of Paul. It had been an especially big harvest that year, so Master John had hired him out from a mistress who only used him to keep her horses.

Paul was a quiet man, so Auntie Mim hardly noticed him when she brought out lunch to the workers one day. She pulled the wagon with the sandwiches while another kitchen slave pulled the wagon with the water barrels. Mim saw him there, with strong shoulders, like her first man, Cuffee, many years before, but she hardly gave him a thought. It was only the next day, when Paul offered to pull the sandwich wagon for her that she noticed him. And that was mostly because she wondered why he would offer to pull the sandwich wagon, which wasn’t that heavy, instead of the water wagon, which the other kitchen girl struggled to pull. She didn’t say anything, though. And that was the beginning of a courtship that heated up as slowly and as steadily as the Fall days were cooling down.

By the end of harvest season, Auntie Mim and Paul had promised themselves to each other, in everything but their outward actions. They had to be very careful not to reveal their true feelings for each other to Master John, or to anyone who might tell Master John. So every lunch time, Paul would make sure to pull the water wagon instead of Auntie Mim’s sandwich wagon, though anyone who looked closely would notice that the wagons were always side by side, and so were Paul and Mim.

By that time, I had been talking to Cuffee for years, mostly in dreams, though once in awhile I would catch of flash of what I knew must be one of his thoughts, or I would inexplicably know what he meant by a gesture or a gurgle that no one else could understand.

Cuffee’s pain kept getting worse, and sometimes I would ask him in dreams or altered states what I could do to help him. Sometimes he would suggest that I rub his feet, sometimes he’d say he needed to drink more water, and sometimes he would suggest that I exercise his limbs a certain way, like moving his legs in forward circles while he lay down. And usually those things would help for a bit.

Around the time of the harvest of my eleventh year and Cuffee’s fifth, Cuffee’s pain got a lot worse. In dreams, where normally he was happy and playful like a normal five-year-old, he started to cry. First they were gentle tears, as if he was sad he couldn’t find a stick he liked to play with. But more and more, Cuffee’s tears would be stronger, his body more twisted in pain.

“What can I do to help?” I would asked, hugging dream Cuffee in my arms.

“I don’t know, Tues,” he would say. More and more in dreams I would simply hold and comfort him, and then I would wake up sad that I had gotten no more information to help him in the nondream world.

Harvest passed, and Paul went back to his Mistress’ farm. Mim and Paul hardly ever saw each other, except once when Auntie Mim was borrowed there for a party that the Mistress needed extra kitchen help for, and another time when Paul was borrowed to Master John to help with one of the horses who had thrown a shoe and was particularly hard to hold down. I remember Auntie Mim finding an excuse to peek outside for a bit to watch Paul as he shooshed the shoeless horse and calmed him down so his foot could be fixed. I happened to be in the kitchen, getting sandwiches for the children up in the nursery. I walked in to see her on her tippy toes, a dreamy-eyed smile on her face as she gazed out the window above the tub sink.

That winter was rough for Cuffee, and therefore for me and Auntie Mim. Cuffee seemed to be at war with himself. He banged his head on the bars of his crib. He threw his arms and legs around like weapons striking anything solid. And hit bit his fingers so bad that some of his nails fell off, and we  feared he would bite off his fingers. There were scars up and down his arms, constantly oozing blood and puss from never getting the chance to heal. We took to putting socks on his hands, tucking them under the long sleeves of his shirts and tying them with string. But even though he could no longer break the skin, he bruised himself continually, and often reopened the few scabs that got a chance to form.

Still, he would come to me in my dreams, and sometimes he would be calm enough to talk to me, in words more advanced than his age would suggest, and he would tell me things I wouldn’t have known otherwise.

“Mama loves Mr. Paul,” he said one time. That I knew, of course. But then he said, “He’ll come work for Master John this spring.”

“He will? For how long?”

“He’ll stay here.”

That didn’t make sense to me. But sure enough, come spring, Old Lady Hutchins died and left Paul and a couple of her other slaves to Master John, since she had no children left alive of her own to leave them to. Auntie Mim was in heaven, knowing that Paul was just around some corner, only feet away from her, standing on the very same land. She would tell me this at night in our little cabin, when she and Cuffee and I lay side by side on a straw bed in our dark cabin, listening to the frogs singing and the crickets chirping along.

But it wasn’t long before Mistress Abigail noticed the spark between the two of them and at long last saw her opportunity to get rid of Auntie Mim, the pretty kitchen slave who still tempted the affections of her husband. Her husband protested, of course, and took to visiting Auntie Mim at night more regularly, to spite his jealous wife.

On Master John’s visits, Auntie Mim would carry Cuffee into the cooking room of our cabin and hang up a quilt between it and the room with the bed. Once, in my twelfth year, when the tulips first started their blooming time, I noticed the master looking at me differently than I had remembered. Auntie Mim was carrying Cuffee into the cooking room, and I was gathering up blankets to follow her, when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up to see a strange look on Master John’s face. “You sure are growing up nice, Tuesday.”

A shiver ran down my spine and stopped my voice for a second, until I made myself say, “Thank you, Master John, sir.” Then I hurried myself into my temporary sleeping spot with Cuffee.

Cuffee and I always had conversations during those visits. They weren’t exactly dream talks, I guess, because I could see/feel the room around me, and I knew that my body was between the stove and the quilted blanket made into a temporary wall. But in that state, I couldn’t hear the sounds beyond the blanket – only the voice of Cuffee.

“You and mama and Paul need to run away,” he told me on one of those cold, uncomfortable nights behind the quilt.

“And you, too, Cuffee,” I said. I had assumed it was a child’s wishing game, and treated it as such. But Cuffee very seriously replied, the dark room surrounding us, “I can’t.”

Come harvest time, rumors started spreading like flies about Mistress Abigail having had enough of her husband’s wandering ways, and that she was going to hurt him the worst way she knew how – by selling Auntie Mim.

In dreams, Cuffee told me over and over that Paul needed to take a horse and Auntie Mim and me and ride north. He told me what town we needed to go to, what day, what time. It would be when the harvest was in full-swing, when Master John wouldn’t be able to spare any worker to come looking for us for fear of his cotton crop spoiling before it was picked.

“You can’t take me,” he would say.  “I’ll be home.”

I told Auntie Mim everything to see what she would say. She knew that I spoke with Cuffee, and she had seen enough proof to know that it wasn’t just my fantasy. When she heard the plan, she cried and held Cuffee, telling him, even though he couldn’t speak to her, that she could never leave him behind.

After that, Cuffee mentioned “going home” almost every time we spoke.

On the day that Auntie Mim found me and Cuffee on the floor, I had been fully awake when the conversation began.

It was early in the morning, but an hour or so after Auntie Mim had left for her kitchen duties. I had gotten up when she did, changed and cleaned up Cuffee, dressed him in unsoiled clothes and fed him a little of the gruel auntie had cooked up. I was just bending over to put him on my hip to carry him up to the Master’s house, when I heard, as loud as if it was right in my ear, Cuffee’s voice shouting, “No!”

I fell to my knees with the force of it, then found myself in the gnarled old angel oak tree in the front yard.  Cuffee and I sat on one of the higher branches on a green patch of moss, both of us swinging our legs in the fading light of the setting sun.

Cuffee looked at me and smiled, happier than I had seen him in a long time.

“It’s time for me to go home!”

I didn’t know, with all of me, what he really meant.  “You look so happy,” I said.

“I am happy,” he said. “Except I don’t really know where it is.”

“You don’t?” I said. “Then how do you know it’s your home?”

He laughed at me, a child’s giggle, like I was being silly. Then, more serious, he said, “Will you help me find it, Tuesday? It’s so close, but I just don’t know where to look.”

I felt sorry for him, not knowing what to say. “I want to help you,” I finally said. “Let’s get down and look.”

I made my way down the tree, carefully picking where I put my feet, and I coached Cuffee on his way down, too. As soon as we reached the ground, the sun began to light up the sky, so bright, that I held up my hand to shelter my eyes. My little cousin danced beside me, joy in his voice and in the movements I could see and feel in my heart.

“Home!”  Cuffee hugged me. “I love you, Tuesday,” he said. “You and Mama and Paul have a different place you need to be. I’ll come talk to you when I can.”

As he walked into the bright light, the world around me darkened, little by little, and I heard Auntie Mim’s voice asking me what had happened.

Paul and Mim and I made our way in the middle of cotton harvest, just like Cuffee said. It was a rough journey. But whenever I was worried or sad, Cuffee would visit me in a dream and say, “Everything will work out fine.”

And it did.

Posted on February 4, 2016 by sydneymandt

Winter Blues

Rain rain rain. It is deep winter, and my attitude reflects the cold and wet and relative gloom. Although my husband would say this is a bright day, with only one layer of cloud, I can only agree with the rational and relativistic part of my mind. The rest of me is lethargic and longing for summer and the freedom to go outside and build square foot gardening raised beds.

In the meantime, I’ve been eating poorly (high sugar, high fat, few vegetables), and I have not been keeping myself in good physical condition. I’ve gained weight, lost strength and flexibility, and blah blah blah. Where’s my gratitude? Where’s my thankfulness for being able to write, to stay at home and enjoy relative freedom and a life free of extreme physical labor?

Oh! There it is! Over there in the pile of dirty dishes! Or is that it over in the wet, weedy mud of a garden that I haven’t stepped in for months.

Seriously, I have it pretty good. I have a wonderful, supportive husband, lovely, maturing children. I am warm and sheltered from the rain. I’m a human on an amazing planet.

One day at a time. And maybe the day will need to include a nap and an early bedtime.

Posted on February 2, 2016 by sydneymandt

Cop Out

I finally wrote a short story for week 4. I call it “Cop Out” because it feels like one and because I address that feeling in the story. It’s very “meta” (a U.S. word that describes a creative work that refers to itself or to conventions of the genre; self-referential). I had been kicking around some thoroughly unsatisfying ideas, and finally decided to write a story exaggerating my experience of frustration in trying to write a story. It’s technically fiction, but it’s based on my anguish. And now it’s done so I can start thinking about next week’s assignment.

Posted on February 1, 2016 by sydneymandt

Reset in the a.m.

9pm is not the ideal time for me to be thinking of a story idea. Not tonight anyway. This 9pm finds me yawning and thinking through fog, unable to find a clear story pathway. I have missed my Saturday deadline to post a story, but I will consider Monday as my new goal. I’ve never worked well late into the night. Daylight is my friend and motivator. In the summer time, when 9pm still boasts enough sunlight to see, I often spend that time outside, working in the yard with the benefit of bug spray to protect against mosquitoes. But now, in February, it’s been dark for hours, and I think a “long winter’s nap” would be my best move. I’ll start fresh in the morning.

Posted on

January 2016

Posted on January 30, 2016 by sydneymandt

Star Wars!!!

Star Wars VII! The Force Awakens! (Spoiler Alert!)

Doug and I just went to the above-mentioned movie for his birthday. I definitely enjoyed it, but it resembled the first one, Star Wars IV, so much that I found it distracting.

I remember seeing Star Wars in the theater when it first came out. Actually, I saw it at the Montana Theater in the 8000-or-so-person town of Miles City Montana, so I most likely saw it several weeks after it first came out, even if I was at the first showing. Much of popular culture was old news by the time it hit Miles City.

That movie made such a huge impression on me. I couldn’t say why I loved it so much, but it hit me in scene after scene. Luke’s underground home with his Aunt and Uncle – wow! Cute, beeping robot – awww! The mysterious man in the robe who turns out to be a jedi – brilliant! The saloon filled with so many varieties of creatures, and very few humans – amazing! A kick-ass princess! A lowly hero! Scary bad guy! The magic Force! Space battles! Action! Suspense! IN SPACE! BOOOOM!!! (That was the sound of my eight-year-old head exploding.)

I never developed into a Star Wars geek who could name all the planets in the story or who knew the names of the different creatures. I think it even took me awhile to figure out that the white-armored soldiers were called stormtroopers. But I knew the heart of the story, and I loved it. I had more boys as friends than I did girls, so I spent my share of recess time playing the role of princess Leia, running around with rebel forces and imagining my hair in big twisty buns on the sides of my head.

I’ve heard that other people have noticed that this movie followed the 1977 movie almost to the beat. But I wonder how they felt about it. How did I feel?

I felt a mix of comfortable familiarity, entertainment, and disappointment. I found myself looking at the same characters represented with an outward twist: same hero, only female; the lady is rescued from Darth Vader’s death star, but this time by a black man; the death star is actually not that, but an exact copy that’s 10 times bigger, and Darth Vader is someone else, of course, but he still wears all black, including a voice-distorting mask, and he’s in the middle of father/son issues. Etc.

Perhaps my disappointment stems from remembering how the first movie gave me such a sense of newness and wonder. But I suspect no true Star Wars movie, however original, could do that for me. For one thing, I’m not eight years old. Back then, I don’t think I had ever seen a movie set in space before. Also, I hadn’t seen many movies at all. This was in the days before the wonder of VHS tapes. (Movies in your home? Without commercials? On that 13-inch TV screen? Ridiculous.)

Also, Star Wars may have been the first time I had seen such an archetypal hero story onscreen that wasn’t Disney. It was like a fairytale, but told with phasers and hover cars!

Now, close to 40 years later, I’ve seen many more movies, enough to recognize common patterns and to know what will probably happen next. Instead of having the total surprise and newness of an 8-year-old watching Star Wars, this time I had a double dose of predictability: extreme similarity combined with decades of movie-watching experience.

Anyway, it was nice to be out on a date with my husband, and to see a very entertaining movie in which good is stronger than evil.

I’m looking forward to the next Star Wars movie. Will the similarties continue? Or will the next film chart a new, unique course that still keeps true to the story’s heart?

I’m hoping for the latter.

Posted on January 28, 2016

Throwback Thursday

I don’t know the origin of the tradition of TBT – possible radio programs? An excuse to play older songs? Maybe it started on Facebook as a chance to show pictures that show how much people have changed over the years. However it started, I have decided to continue the tradition.

In my cleaning and reorganizing, I have found many of my old short stories, poems, and essays. Some of them are only available on one hard copy, so putting them on Word Fertilizer will create a backup version. Also, in true TBT fashion, these earlier writings show how I have changed over the years – in attitude, writing style, etc. Of course, these TBT’s will not count as one of my 52 weekly writings over this year.

“Something old, something new.” Welcome to a new aspect of my commitment to writing.

Posted on January 27, 2016

Does not rhyme with banana

I’ve tried to post my story, but the way to do it escapes me. I try everything I can think of, and it’s not working. It’s a little humiliating. I keep meaning to ask Doug for help, but I don’t seem to remember when it’s a good time for both of us. At this point, though, I need to start working on my next story. I’ve danced with a few ideas, but I’m going to have to focus a little more to get an actual story out of one of them. Or I’ll come up with a new idea.

On the feng shui tip (look at me! using a colloquialism!), my living room is the mess that my bedroom currently is not. I took everything out of my closet yesterday  – it was filled with very unorganized miscellany – and today I removed the layer of long-accumulated stuff from my bedroom floor. The living room is my reconnoitering and mobilizing zone. Tomorrow I will engage my enemy (Chaos) in a Herculean battle. May Order emerge victorious!

I’m feeling good that I’ve been able to address some clutter issues these last couple of days, thanks to my Mom caring for the MIL in my absence. Mom will be leaving in less than a week now, so I’m trying to get as much done as possible. I believe that having my stuff more in order will help me use my time more wisely and that I will be better able to write regularly.

Hasta manana. (Funny, I’ve never seen that spelled “manyana”, but what are you supposed to do if you don’t have computer access to a tilde? Just use a regular “n” and risk people reading it as if it rhymes with “banana”?)

Posted on January 26, 2016

Grand Opening in February

I have the Week 3 Story ready to go, but I’m having trouble getting it to show up on Word Fertilizer.

I decided to make the story almost completely in a monologue format. It’s just one man talking, with no action or setting descriptions. I don’t know if this makes for the most effective telling of this story, but I’ll put it out there (when my hubby can help me figure out how) and see how people respond to it.

I haven’t had a “grand opening” of the blog yet. I’ve been waiting until I figure out how to post pages and posts and get drop-downs to work and such. Maybe by February I will officially invite Facebook friends and others to my website.

In fact, that sounds like a new, achievable goal. Grand Opening in February!

Posted on January 25, 2016

It’s too late (or too early) to blog.

It’s midnight on the dot, and I’m tired. I will blog and post the week 3 story tomorrow.

Posted on January 23, 2016 by sydneymandt

Bad words and good stories, even if they’re bad

The upcoming Week 3 story contains vulgar language. It fits the character who speaks it.

I guess a part of me feels like i should apologize for saying offensive things in a story. But offensive things do happen in the world. And sometimes those things can make for useful stories. By “useful” I mean informative, entertaining, enlightening – or something along those lines. I’m not sure if the Week 3 story will be any of those things to whoever reads it. But I want it to be real, a “lie that tells the truth”. (Where did I first hear that phrase?)

Mostly, though, I want it to be written. The idea that I could produce 52 stories by the end of the year excites me. Even if they are mediocre or bad, they are practice. And I’m a firm believer in looking at everything I write as a potential work in progress. Even if I consider something a final draft, I reserve the right to demote it down to rough draft status if I see room for improvement. With that philosophy, I can’t really say that something I’ve written is bad, since it may just be in one of its earlier stages, an awkward phase through which it just needs to grow into its more complete self.

So I won’t be apologizing for bad language if I feel it’s justified, and I won’t apologize for bad stories. Because maybe they’re just not done yet.

Posted on January 22, 2016

Book Visions

I’ve been working on the next short story. It expands on the concept of “potential” or “the potential” introduced in the last short story. In fact, I’ve thought of many story ideas based on people who have “potential”. Maybe it’s spelled with a capital “P”. Or maybe it is described by a different word or words altogether. But in this family, whose ancestral tree I have roughly outlined, it is usually called the same thing because it roughly manifests in the same way.

Around 50 short stories, each focusing on one ancestor at a time, could add up to a whole book. That would be cool. But I’m not counting any unhatched chickens yet. This is only week 3 after all. But I look forward to seeing how it turns out.

Posted on January 20, 2016

Come on immune system! (Exclaimed as a cheer)

I’ve been low-energy, sneezing, and feeling the rawness of my drippy nasal passages and sore throat, but I resist saying “I have a cold.” I guess stating it outright feels like giving in, dwelling on the negative. I surmise that if I emphasize the health that’s present within me it will feel encouraged and get stronger.

Then again, this philosophy makes me think of the statement attributed to President Reagan that there are no homeless people in the United States. Ignoring something does not negate it’s existence. There are people who live under blue tarp tents in the trees and brush next to I-5 in Seattle. And there is a population of cold virus clones trying to wreak havoc in my body.

And that’s where the analogy breaks down.

Posted on January 17, 2016

Week 2 Story

I’ve written a very short story which feels more like the first chapter in a larger story. It brings up more questions than I have the answer to right now, but maybe I’ll answer some of the questions in stories to come.

Posted on January 16, 2016

Refenging my shui

This morning I continued my book purging begun the day before. My main goal was not exactly to get rid of books, but rather to keep the ones that I really want and to arrange them in a way more suitable to my needs. My writing books used to be covered up, and are now more prominently displayed on a shelf in my bedroom. The books that I like to read at night are now reachable from where I lie in bed. I’ve let go a few books that I have already read or have little interest in or can easily get on Kindle. The books I have kept are now casually stretched out on bookshelves instead of gasping for breath, sometimes at the bottom of a pile pushed behind other books.

I’m hoping that some good feng shui will increase my writing productivity. So far, though, this organizing stuff has been cutting into my blogging and story-writing time. I might be able to finish a story by Saturday, but I might have to extend the deadline.

Posted on January 14, 2016 by sydneymandt

Well, fooey.

I took a precious half hour of morning time blogging, in part justifying my non-blogging of yesterday with the “time is an illusion” excuse. Then I thought I clicked on the “Publish” button, not even bothering to click “Save Draft”. Then I wandered around the web a bit, looking at a few articles about time, and when I came back to Word Fertilizer, my post was not there!

Disappointing. Lesson learned. Moving on.

(“Save draft”.)

Posted on January 12, 2016 by sydneymandt

Recovery

Busy days are happening as we take advantage of my Mom’s presence by scheduling appointments for our younger kid (Jo) that Doug and I otherwise would not both be able to go to. Jo’s still recovering from whatever knocked her down Sunday, so when we got home Monday (yesterday), Johanna went straight to bed and slept. This morning she told me that she slept from 2pm to 11pm, when she woke up and changed into pajamas, then she fell asleep again. Now it’s 6am, and I’ve been trying to cajole her into wakefulness for about an hour now. We have another appointment this morning, and we need to leave at 6:30 to get there in time.

Short story update: I finally have something, though I’m not super happy with it. But I’m not super happy with much these days anyway – part of my winter condition. And the point of writing a story every week is to get practice. So that has been accomplished, just in time to get started on another week’s story. You’ll find “last week’s” product in the “Story” Section of this site under Week One Story.

Posted on January 11, 2016

Slow start

Part of this is due to procrastination and not just “not having time”, but I have not finalized my short story, and I’m nodding off egregiously at the early hour of 8pm. I want to go to sleep and start over in the morning. Maybe I can even work on the story while in the car tomorrow going to and from an appointment for Johanna. But right now I want to put my yawning self to bed and check out for the evening. I hope that eventually I’ll get a system going, and be used to the routine of having a story done every Sameday of the week.

Posted on January 9, 2016

Regoalifying

I need to decide how I am going to implement my goal of writing one short story or poem every week. I suppose I could add “song” to that list, and then I would have accomplished my goal already. But my original goal was to write a short story every week, and I added “or poem” as a sort of way out, an easier substitute for story writing in case I don’t get one written on a certain week. I’m clearly trying to get out of the work I want to do.

So here’s the deal. My goals are to blog every day, and to write a new story every week. Songs and poems will be bonus material. The story will have no minimum number of words, but it needs to have a full story to it. (This may lead to a future blog entry about what makes a story.)

When during the week will the story be due for posting? I’m going to say Saturday, since it is now Friday night, and I have not started writing a story, and I’m very tired and need to wake up at 5am tomorrow so I can wake up a kiddo and get her to the carpool meetup spot for robotics.

Good night!

Posted on January 5, 2016 by sydneymandt

Name an insect conscience from the Arabian peninsula

Yemeni Cricket!

Posted on January 5, 2016 by sydneymandt

I love me some short stories

I’ve been loving the “Bedtime Stories” anthology. So far I’ve read:

The Thing in the Forest by A.S. Byatt

Young Goodman Brown by Nathaniel Hawthorne

Troll Bridge by Neil Gaiman

The Poacher by Ursula K. Leguin

The Sailor-Boy’s Tale by Isak Dinesen

The Bottle Imp by Robert Louis Stevenson

The Industrious Tailor by William Maxwell

The Dragon by Vladimir Nabokov

And I’m in the middle of Night by Guy de Maupassant.

I would like to write something insightful here about each story, but given the late hour (I’m tired) and how quickly I’ve been reading them, all I can come up with right now is “They’re great!” Not a very penetrating comment.

I seem to be greedily consuming these stories like chocolate. Maybe I need to slow it down a little, savor the subtle flavors, letting them melt on my tongue slowly and deliciously. Maybe I eat so much at once that it doesn’t really digest properly, devouring stories with a tummy-rubbing “Yummy!” while other, more cultured folk are still chewing the flavorful first few sentences.

I think my reading became faster when I had kids, and especially during the time I was writing my thesis. I became fairly good at plowing through research papers efficiently, gleaning what I needed. But in that case I knew specifically what I was looking for. With these short stories, I’m trying to learn what makes a good story, but I’m not sure I know how to look for that. I suppose some of it is learned unconsciously, but I would like to be conscious of the knowledge, also.

Mentioning my thesis brings to mind how my Mom came out to take care of my toddler and baby daughters during my final push to get done. I couldn’t have completed it without her.

Tomorrow my Mom will once again come to the rescue! She’ll stay at my mom-in-law’s house, in my now college-age daughter’s room, and she’ll help care for MOL during this very busy month. We have 4 birthdays to celebrate in January. We also will go to 4 longer-than-two-hour health appointments for Johanna. AND it’s build season in FIRST robotics. That means Johanna’s robotics team, the Hi-tekkers, beginning this Saturday, will meet every day except Sunday for the next 6 weeks, 4 to 8 hours each day. Plus I have Baha’i meetings to go to. And blog/story-writing goals. So I’m grateful that my Mom will be here to help. Yay Mom!

Posted on January 3, 2016 by sydneymandt

Staying Alive

I wrote a song today.

New songs don’t come to me often, but when they do, they demand my mental attention, and require that I sing them out loud multiple times, trying out different lyrics and tunes as needed.  They are usually silly or sarcastic and sometimes fall into the category of children’s songs. Serious songs don’t seem to be my thing. I’m kind of a really amateur, female, non-accordian-or-any-other-instrument-playing Weird Al Yankovich. (No insult to Mr. Yankovich intended.)

Today’s song is to the tune of “Staying Alive”, by the Bee Gees. I’ve been tweaking the lyrics all day, trying to set the right tone and not offend anybody. I don’t know if it has the same impact just reading the lyrics – I have to wiggle some syllables around to make it work. For that reason and others, I would rather reveal the song through singing, but I lack the technological and musical know-how to get that to happen satisfactorily before this day is over, and if I procrastinate, I fear it will not get done.

So please check out Stayin’ Alive under stories.

Posted on January 3, 2016

New Books

Yesterday my hubby took me out for Thai food for my birthday. Before that, we went to the Half-Price Books just a couple stores down from the restaurant. There he bought me some blank journals and several anthologies of short stories. The book I’m reading first is called Bedtime Stories, which features “great writers of the past two centuries” exploring what others might call “magical realism”, though the blurb doesn’t use that term.

I would like to tell myself I need to read at least one short story every day, but I hesitate, given my experiences with setting unrealistic goals. It doesn’t seem like a big task to undertake, but added up with all the little goals that fill my day, many of them listed only diffusely in a shadow of my mind, I could be overwhelmed . Recently I gave myself the reasonable tasks of exercising and praying every morning. But Christmas preparations disrupted my routine (which I’d stuck with for maybe a week and a half), and that was enough to kick in the all-or-nothing part of my brain that tells me I blew it, and I might as well sleep in.

So I need to rally myself back into beneficial routines. I need exercise. I need my morning prayer. And I need to read short stories if I am going to write them. Maybe I don’t need to make specific reading goals, since that’s something I enjoy doing to the point of ignoring other responsibilities. Many of my self-appointed half-hour reading times have resulted in binge-reading for hours. “Just one more paragraph”, “I’ll just read until the next chapter”, and eventually, “Well, I’m almost done with the book anyway” are frequent justifications I use to ignore the clock.

Speaking of clocks, it’s 10:30pm, and I need to go to bed. Especially if I’m going to wake up early to exercise and pray. And/or read.

Posted on January 2, 2016

Birthday Blog Post

This is the first day of the new year, both mine and the Gregorian calendar’s. I also share my birthday with many immigrants to the U.S. who have this birth date chosen for them in lieu of the unknown actual day. On behalf of us all I’d like to point out that the days are getting longer, despite the continued cold, and that vegetation and animal life that has paused or slowed its growth is stirring once again. I count myself in both the vegetable and animal categories.

I love that I have two New Year’s days to commemorate. My non-Gregorian, non-birthday New Year is Naw Ruz, celebrated on March 21 by Baha’is and countries influenced by the ancient religion of Zoroastrianism. This New Year marks the increasing momentum toward summer and the sprouting up of new possibilities,

It helps me to know that my personal, birthday anniversary of self-beginning is the VERY beginning, and a slow start is to be expected. I am an infant blogger, still learning the technology and fairly new to what makes a website/blog enjoyable, readable, informative, etc. and whether or not those are things I strive toward.

Here are the things I do want my blog (plus) to be:

  1. Writing practice: through writing a blog entry every day and writing a poem or short story every week.
  2. Sharing practice. I rarely share what I write, and what is the point of writing something if not to share it somehow?
  3. Practice receiving feedback. It’s not always easy to take (speaking for myself), but it’s a writing-related skill as much as the actual writing and sharing of writing are.

Thus the adventure begins! May 2016 bring wonderful things to us all!

Posted on January 1, 2016 by sydneymandtLeave a comment

Hello again!

Posted on

January 2010

P.A.L. – “Know thyself”

Saturday, January 2nd, 2010

In the category of knowing myself comes the fact that I am not auditioning for a part on Survivor today.

It’s strange living in a writer’s brain, where scenarios get played out, even if very unlikely or even impossible, for the sake of exploring what “might” happen. The strange part is how I sometimes, for brief moments, forget that I am not a fictional character who might, for example, enjoy building shelters on a remote island or be able to scavenge for food or handle the strange politics of faux tribes and alliances or feel confident striding around in a bikini and talking about my fellow island competitors on-camera behind their backs. (”I just don’t know if I can trust Alicia….”)

I remember when Survivor first came on television, before reality TV exploded into the messy phenomenon it is today. I only watched snippets of the show, because I heard that people were getting hooked on it. I was appalled at some of the behavior, including the whole “voting someone off the island” thing and the fact that the man who won that first season did so through disunifying and unvirtuous behavior that was glorified as “playing the game.” I haven’t followed the show ever since (and didn’t even follow it that time), and I’m distressed by the idea of it. (On a side note, to see how Survivor would play out when taken to the extreme, read The Hunger Games, by Suzanne Collins. Very well-written and very disturbing.)

So why would I find out about Survivor auditions happening in Seattle and think, “Ooh! Maybe I could do that!” I know it’s just that writer-brain fantasy thing, but it still took me about half an hour to thoroughly unstick myself from the idea. “I’m a nervous traveler,” I had to remind myself. “I’d have to be gone 7 weeks – what would Doug and the kids do without me?” “Do they even pay you anything if you don’t win?” “There’s no way they would cast me, since I’m not busty and I’m not a model and I’m old by TV standards.”

But I still introduced the idea to Doug, saying, “Maybe I could win! I could be one of those background contestants that nobody notices and everybody keeps on the island because I’m not a threat. And then I come out to win it all!”

Then I remembered, with the assistance of my dear husband, how opinionated and judgemental I can be, especially under stress. If I were on Survivor, I would be just as petty as anyone else and end up being so ashamed of my behavior that I couldn’t show my face in public. But I would have to for promotional spots. And post-show tours. Especially if I won.

No, no, no! Being a Survivor contestant is not what I am meant to do! But what am I meant to do? Apparently I am too morally decrepit to work in kitchens anymore. At least according to the results of my Hartman Value Profile.

The Hartman Value Profile is an intriguing little tool, supposedly based on lots of research, that assesses a person’s inner being through two lists. Each list contains 18 items or phrases which the test taker is supposed to prioritize by number, “1” having the highest or most positive value on the list, and “18” having the lowest value. I love taking tests, especially ones that are supposed to assess my character, so I happily filled out the form, confident that I had valued things in the best way possible, and sent it off by e-mail to the Highline Medical Center’s HR department, knowing that they would want to hire me as a dietary clerk. This is the e-mail I received back:

“Thank you for returning your completed profile. Upon scoring it indicates your score does not meet the standards we are given to forward your resume. However, we do give the opportunity to re-take the profile with more clear instructions.”

I was genuinely surprised. The instructions for filling out the form were resent, this time with extra spaces between each sentence, the equivalent of speaking loudly and clearly to a person who needs a “little extra help” understanding things.

I immediatley went back to the forms that I had sent, thinking maybe the answers I had filled out had been erased from the PDF. But no, all of my answers were there, intact and making sense. Only when I looked at them again more thoroughly did I find a few of my decisions that may have scored poorly.

For example, I scored “a madman” with a higher value than “an assembly line”. The way I see it, a madman is a human being who may have many positive attributes despite having screwed-up brain chemistry, while an assembly line is a soul-sucking job I had once. But I changed the order of their values and then redid the whole form, trying to imagine what the “right” answers would be. Finally satisfied, but not as confident as before, I sent the profile off one more time. That same day I received another e-mail:

“Thank you for returning your re-take of the Hartman Value Profile. Your score still does not meet the “standards” in order to have your resume forwarded for open positions at this time. You may re-apply after 30 days for positions with requirements that match your qualifications.”

Wha…?

I find this situation fascinating! And I want to know the secret code! What does this HR person know about me that I don’t know?

New Year’s Resolution

Saturday, January 2nd, 2010

Forty one years ago today, I was born. I happen to have been born on the day when many people make goals for themselves and resolve to fulfill them during the coming year. Since I started my whole life on this particular day of goal setting, perhaps it’s natural that I take this January 1st reassessment thing fairly seriously. Except for resolving several years ago to finish my young adult novel, I haven’t set many concrete goals throughout the years. More often I spend those days around my birthday wondering what I’m doing with my life. It’s not always as angst-ridden as it may sound, but it can be uncomfortable, and the older I get, the more urgent the self-questioning has become.

Perhaps anticipating this upcoming life accomplishment question, I spent much of my pilgrimage prayer time asking what I need to be doing with my life, what God created me to do, and what job or career path I need to be taking. Writing is definitely something I want to keep doing, but so far it’s not bringing in any money, and I would like to earn some of that someday.

Baha’u’llah said, “Having attained the stage of fulfilment and reached his maturity, man standeth in need of wealth, and such wealth as he acquireth through crafts or professions is commendable and praiseworthy in the estimation of men of wisdom….” I have felt guilty at times that I have spent so much time and money getting an education towards a profession I don’t practice or earn money from. But the real kicker, the thing to pay attention to that guides one toward a craft or profession, is the first part of that quote: “…man should know his own self and recognize that which leadeth unto loftiness or lowliness, glory or abasement, wealth or poverty.”

I know myself fairly well, having had forty one years to get to know me, including five-ish years of therapy, but I still don’t know what I “should” be doing with my life, professionally speaking. While I was on pilgrimage, I prayed about this career issue, which is very important in the Baha’i Faith, not only from the standpoint of monetary wealth, but also of spiritual wealth, as evidenced by the quote: “It is enjoined upon every one of you to engage in some form of occupation, such as crafts, trades and the like. We have graciously exalted your engagement in such work to the rank of worship unto God, the True One.”

I prayed about this career issue often in the shrines, and the topic came up a few times when I talked with fellow pilgrims. Once, while chatting and drinking tea during a visit to Bahji, a fellow pilgrim from Seattle told me about a program that offers an accelerated nursing degree to people with other degrees. It sounded like it could have been an answer to prayer, but I wasn’t sure. And now that I’m home and have had a chance to research the program, I see that it would take a lot of money, which I don’t have, and which I can’t risk spending on a career I’m not sure I want to pursue. I’ve already gone that route as an unemployed holder of a master’s degree in nutrition.

As I tried to focus my prayers and to summarize my feelings and desires into words, the phrase that kept coming to my mind was, “How can I be of service?” So even though specific fantasies would enter my mind (from as mundane as me teaching ESL to as inflated as me being interviewed by David Letterman about my book-turned-movie), I usually end up praying in the direction of “How can I be of service?” After all, if you love someone, you want to be of service to them. And in questions of motivation or direction, love is a pretty good place to start.

So even though I don’t know exactly where I’m headed as far as a career or job goes, I keep writing, and I keep looking at jobs listed online, and I keep trusting that God will answer my prayers as long as I keep doing the footwork.

PAL – Pre-New-Year Entry

Friday, January 1st, 2010

I was tempted to feel guilty for not blogging yesterday, but decided that one day of rest, having such a distinctive place in many religions, isn’t so bad. Two days of rest, however, just doesn’t seem right. So here it is 11:21 p.m., and another day – and another year – is about to end. But I want to write one more entry before it does.

Speaking of days of rest, and trying to pull this blog entry back to the subject of my pilgrimage, Doug and I could tell which religion Haifa shopowners ascribed to by noticing which day of the week they were closed.

Our hotel was located in the German Colony, a traditionally Christian area. In 1868, the German Templars camped out at the bottom of Mount Carmel waiting for the return of Jesus Christ. The buildings they built out of the resident limstone lined and still line the street which eventually became Ben Gurion Avenue. The Wikipedia entry for “German Colony” shows a wonderfully sparse “before” sepia-tone picture of those buildings, and the “after” picture shows the modern view of Ben Gurion Avenue from one of the lower terraces of the Shrine of the Bab. Some of the people in German Colony still seem to be Christian, and so of course those shops were closed on Sunday.

There are many shops with Jewish ownership, of course, and these were closed on Saturday. There was only one shop that I noticed being closed on Friday. I hadn’t really thought of it until we ate there on a Saturday, when some other places were closed. It was a sandwhich shop, offering what turned out to be huge sandwiches on long, skinny loaves of freshly baked bread. There were two small tables outside and two tiny tables and a counter inside. Doug and I sat in the table to the right of the door and waited for the owner to serve a few other customers who came in right after us. Trying not to feel slighted by the order discrepancy, I looked up at the TV almost directly above me and let myself be entertained by videos in another language that didn’t sound like Hebrew. Modern-looking men and women sang about what must have been love, the difficulties of relationships, the differences between men and women. It’s all the same in any language, isn’t it?

After Hafez, the owner, an old man with gray hair and mustache, named the lumps of meat in the deli case (turkey, beef, duck, others), and Doug and I placed our orders, I asked him what kind of music was playing.

“This music is Palestinian,” he said. “It is from a Palestinian station.” I saw “Egypt” flash at the bottom of the screen.

Later Hafez, smoke swirling from the cigarette in his hand, came to ask us where we were from. We talked with him briefly, but soon his attention was pulled outside, and he excused himself at the next break in conversation. I turned to look behind me and see who Hafez was greeting, and it was three lovely young girls, maybe 12 or 13 years old, each with long curly black hair. He gave each a high five before they came in to sit at the other inside table.

I surmised that maybe Hafez was the grandfather of one of more of the girls, who seemed very at home there, even squeezing past me and Doug to get behind the counter to the frig where the coca-cola was kept.

I loved that these girls had a place where they could go and feel appreciated and even loved as they had their lunch. I saw this pattern repeated over and over, actually. There were many little shops all over the city of Haifa, small and fairly basic, but very well-frequented. There were rarely any lines, and never long ones, and the people working in those shops were individuals who clearly knew their customers well. The cashiers were often obviously related to the others working there. In one case three brothers owned a little grocery store. One shop was run by a wife whose husband chatted outside with a friend. A restaurant was owned by a man and his wife, who was there with their tiny baby. The workers didn’t have that empty look that comes from just putting in time to get a paycheck. These were chosen livelihoods, and customer service directly related to their income. It felt nice. Personal. Real.

Well, hear I have it, a somewhat rambling entry, and not even finished before the New Year announced itself with the neighbors fireworks, popping and snapping and booming. I took a little break in the middle of blogging to go to my mother-in-law’s next door, where Doug and the kids are watching some local coverage of the midnight clickover to 2010. I am now very tired and ready for bed.

Happy New Year everyone!

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December 2009

PAL – Arriving in Haifa, sick and well

Tuesday, December 29th, 2009

One thing I like about being sick is that it decreases my capacity for fret and worry. Granted, it also decreases my capacity for just about everything else, as well, but there were times at the beginning of our trip (during the times I wasn’t vomitting) that I was actually thankful for the focus that my sickness offered.

After Doug and I were well, someone jokingly referred to our sickness as a pre-pilgrimage “cleansing”, and I had actually thought of that to a certain degree. Not only was I not able to rely on comfort eating to deal with my anxiety about travelling in a foreign country, I wasn’t able to rely on most of what I count on – physical strength, clear thinking, a home I can easily get to with phone access to doctors, familiar pharmacists who can recommend medicine, probiotics and soy yogurt from Trader Joe’s to help repopulate the good bacteria in my intestinal tract, Emergen-C drink, sports drinks for renewing electrolytes – none of that was available, at least not without expending much more time and effort than Doug or I could afford.

So without any of those fallback comforters, it was easy to remember God’s role as Comforter. And without physical strength to draw on, it was easier to remember that I have spiritual strengths as well, and to tell myself this was a good opportunity to use them. Patience, faith, love, persistence, determination, appreciation of beauty, and probably many others came into play as I moved my body along when I had to, sat when I could, and silently said the “remover of difficulties” prayer when I needed to. Remembering regular prayer and meditation has been a challenge for me in my daily life, but here I had been given an opportunity to give my outer life a break while the inside life got its workout. That was a blessing.

At the Haifa train station, there were hardly any folks besides me and Doug, maybe because they had all moved to the main lobby much more quickly than we were able to. As we shuffled our way out the front door, we saw a group of dark-haired men talking and standing near a series of about four small white cars. One of the men nodded to the others and came up to me and Doug as I sat on the stairs to catch my breath. “Taxi?” he said. Doug’s face looked pained. I had figured out from the map that we were not very far from our hotel, and under other circumstances we probably would have walked.

“How much?”

“Where are you going?”

“Haddad House.”

“I know that place. Forty shekels.” The man gave a side-nod of the head, his arms out in a brief gesture that seemed to imply he was giving us a deal. His stance showed us he was ready to either grab our bags or walk away.

Doug looked at me, I shrugged, and Doug turned back to the man. “Okay.”

Once in the cab we went through the familiar, “Where are you from?” bit, but this time with a twist. Doug told the driver we were from Seattle, to which the driver replied, “Seattle Super Sonics!” Doug’s face lit up and fell at the same time, a smile and mock-mourning sharing time on his face. “Oh,” said Doug. “Not anymore.” The two of them talked NBA for the rest of the trip, which, predictably, was not very long, though longer, we later discovered, than warranted by what was essentially a 5-block distance. It didn’t matter, though. We were glad for the transportation.

Haddad House is on the main road leading from the Haifa harbor up to the base of Mount Carmel. From there, the terraces of the shrine of the Bab take over, nine long and beautifully landscaped terraces leading up to the shrine, which is known for its beautiful and distinctive gold dome, different from a mosque, but just as inspirational of worship. As Doug and the cab driver took our luggage out of the trunk of the taxi, I let my gaze wander up Ben Gurion Avenue to the mountain, and I was surprised. “Doug! Look at the shrine!”

Doug looked up to see. What should have been a gold dome not too far in the distance was just a large mystery object wrapped up in light beige cloth – another pilgrim later compared it to a gigantic lampshade. We found out later that the gold tiles of the dome were being replaced one by one and that the whole project would take three years. I loved it, though I couldn’t describe why. Maybe it was because the wrapped up dome reminded me of a Christo art piece. But now, after I’m home, it seems like it was another sign to pay more attention to the draw of the spiritual than the flash of the physical.

PAL – Child soldiers

Monday, December 28th, 2009

Having the end-of-the-line bus station next to the train station is very handy, and doubles one’s people-watching pleasure.

I felt lucky, as we walked to the ticket booth and then to the stairs down to the train platform to be surrounded by Israeli soldiers. It was a welcome distraction from nausea to absorb the sight of hundreds of young people in khaki green uniforms milling around. I had forgotten that Israeli citizens are required to serve in the armed forces. From what Doug and I could tell, they must be conscripted right out of high school, because they all looked so young.

“Children with guns,” Doug commented later. Only a few of them actually carried large plasticky-looking guns, a shade darker green than the uniforms. At first Doug and I had the brief impression of the guns being toys, but we were pretty sure they were real assault rifles. Doug remembered that Uzis are made in Israel (a very guy thing to know) and he wondered if that’s what we were seeing. I only saw young men, no women, carrying these weapons, slung cross-ways over their shoulders, often with one hand touching the rifle casually as the other hand gestured toward a fellow khaki-wearing soldier.

It was one of these soldiers who pointed out to Doug a level below us where we should wait for the train to Haifa. Amidst the casual bustle of a pleasant afternoon, Doug headed down the stairs as I stopped and caught my breath. A non-soldier young man spoke to me in Hebrew and pointed behind me to some elevator doors. I smiled some thanks, maybe even said “Todah” (thanks in Hebrew), but decided to follow Doug, who was way ahead of me and out of earshot, so that he wouldn’t be worried about where I was.

What a warm day it was, so different from what we had left at home. We settled in a sunny spot on a black mesh-metal bench, one of many on the long concrete platform. I lay down, my head on Doug’s lap, and soaked in the sunshine, letting it heal me as I watched a group of women soldiers gather on and around the bench next to us. Some of them wore kelly green rimless soft caps, but more often the caps seemed to be tucked into a little shoulder strap, adding a splash of color to their outfit, like a cheerful, oddly-placed boutonniere.

Once on the train, Doug and I sat across from each other, Doug next to a gentleman who spoke a little bit of English, asking us, “Where you are?” Brief confusion resolved in an understanding that he wanted to know where we (obvious foreigners) came from.

“Seattle. Washington. United States.” “Ah,” he said with a head nod. And soon we and all of the passengers filling every seat of the car, felt the rythmic vibrations of moving along on a train. Some people talked, some people fell asleep, and I finally felt useful as I perused the maps I had gathered and figured out which of the three Haifa stops would be closest to our hotel. I could understand better than Doug the prerecorded woman’s voice coming over the speakers, announcing each stop. So I listened for her voice and alternately watched passengers and scenery as the train lulled me into a comfortable semi-doze. In about an hour, we were in Haifa.

PAL – Phase one

Sunday, December 27th, 2009

And now we come to the “At Least It Makes For a Good Story” portion of our program. An illness turns Doug’s and my boring plans of exploring Tel Aviv into An Adventure In Trying Not to Puke.

I really thought Doug was being a wimp when he started complaining of nausea. I didn’t tell him that, of course, trying to be a supportive wife and all. I thought maybe he had just tired himself out.

As soon as we had gotten to our room in the Center Hotel in Tel Aviv, I had plopped down on the bed and promptly fallen asleep. Five hours on a plane, a seven hour layover, and ten more hours on a plane had taken its toll on me. I pride myself on being able to fall asleep anywhere and under any circumstance, but for some reason, plane slumber had eluded me. It might have had something to do with the pull of the personal movie screen in front of me and a large selection of movies to choose from (including Bollywood! Woo Hoo!) But whatever the reason, I was so tired that by the time I had access to an actual bed, there was no stopping the coma-like somnolence that ensued.

Doug, however, had spent a few hours walking around our temporary neighborhood instead of sleeping. A few hours after he finally came to bed, Doug was puking loudly in the toilet. I was embarrassed at how loud Doug vomits. I’m not saying it’s a character flaw, but I was sure he was waking the neighbors.

That morning, between his digestive tract convulsions, Doug would rest, and I would lament the fact that he wasn’t able to come do things with me. I was feeling very intimidated by the foreignness of everything. Doug did manage to come with me to the breakfast provided for us at the Cinema Hotel, just steps away from our place. He barely took in some coffee and water while I feasted on cucumber/tomato salad, some kind of purpley pickley fish, and some spinach-filled pastries, washed down with orange juice and topped off with coffee. Doug kept holding his head in his hands, elbows on the table, hardly being sociable at all, finally saying that he really needed to get back to our room. Once there he immediately vomitted in the toilet. The bathroom was so small that Doug’s bottom half stuck out into the room – thus leaving no way to close off the thunderous noise.

I was feeling even less sympathetic when I decided to go out and exchange money. I went down to the front desk, a compact affair on a level next to and slightly above the waiting area where two couches faced each other and were surrounded by clear plastic chairs. I asked the man at the desk where the post office was, and he smiled in humorous pity, because it was directly across the street, its red and white sign fully visible through the completely glass front of the hotel lobby. Of course the sign was in HEBREW, and I had no idea what it said.

I walked over the to building, which soon revealed its postal workings through large glass windows. As I stepped inside, a series of numbered booths and waiting pull-numbers and a screen with Hebrew directions and people speaking things I couldn’t understand intimidated me so thoroughly and quickly that I stepped right back out the door and back across the street to our hotel.

As soon as Doug started feeling a little more settled, it was mine turn to get sick. I’m happy to tell you that MY vomitting is not embarrassingly loud, but is instead quite dainty and feminine. (Yeah, right.)

Anyway, hotel checkout was noon, but Doug asked the front desk for one more hour. Though both of us were weak, we headed down to the lobby at 1:00, and Doug both impressed and humilated me by having a very easy and enjoyable time exchanging money at the post office, having figured out the instruction screen and the number waiting system with no problem.

When we found out that a taxi ride to Haifa was going to cost 500 shekels (100 dollars = 371 shekels, so 500 shekels = too much), we decided to take the 5ish shekel per person bus ride to catch the 26 shekels per person train to Haifa instead.

But the going was slow. Standing up was an exercise in stength, and Doug and I had to walk about 3 blocks to a bus stop, each of us carrying a backpack and a wheely bag. It was definitely not comfortable. And once we were on the bus, it took me a few blocks’ worth to decide that I really needed to get off the bus. At the next stop, it took us longer than the bus driver appreciated for us to gather all of our stuff together, and he started driving off after the quicker passengers had left. But he did stop, a little past where we finally pulled all of our stuff together on a bench, just in time for me to hurry toward a little tree behind a fence, where I puked and puked until I finally no longer felt the compulsion to do so. Then I wiped my mouth a little, lamented the terrible taste , and joined Doug to wait for the next bus.

“Pilgrim at Large” Begins

Sunday, December 27th, 2009

I have been wondering where to begin my writings about pilgrimage. And amidst all of the images and ideas in my mind, it finally occured to me to write about the application process, since that is where pilgrimage begins.

It is enjoined on all Baha’is, of which there are 5 million (and counting) worldwide, to go on pilgrimage at least once in their lifetime. To do this, they must request permission, and that request is put on a waiting list that lasts years.

At this point I can’t remember how I requested a pilgrimage. What did I say? Did I begin with, “Dear Universal House of Justice” or “To Whom it May Concern”? Or did I just start right in with a direct request: “I would like to be considered for pilgrimage”? Or maybe I even decided to flower it up a bit and ask to be considered “for the blessing and opportunity” or the “grace and privelage” to be able to go on pilgrimage”?

However I said it, I’m pretty sure it was through snail mail, since my first request was in 1994, and I was a few years from having an e-mail address at that point. In fact, I didn’t have internet access at all. I think my friend Roger had e-mail, but that was a college student thing, and far from common, at least in my world. Actually, it was Roger who first encouraged me to sign up for pilgrimage. I was single then, unaware of the huge changes that marriage and children would soon bring to my life.

So I mailed a letter, however it was worded, and on December 18th, 1994, I recieved a letter from the Universal House of Justice, “Baha’i World Centre”, that said my name had been placed on a waiting list and that it would take “one to one and a half years” for my name to reach the top of the list.

In July of 1995, I married Doug. In 1996, we had a baby and moved. In 1998 we had another baby, and Doug became a Baha’i. In 2000 we moved. In 2004 we moved again. In the course of those years, I didn’t keep a record of all of my pilgrimage correspondence, in part because it was mostly through e-mails (my husband became very techno-savvy over the years), that became lost due to various computer changes and/or malfunctions.

Since I don’t have good records of that time, I’m not sure when I came to the top of the list that first time. I know once Doug and I waited for 6 years, one time for 4 years, and there was at least one or two more waiting periods. Each time I or Doug and I had to defer pilgrimage due to our kids being too young, our lives being too busy or our pockets being too empty.

In March of 2008, we received a letter saying we had reached the top of the pilgrimage list once more, and this time Doug and I decided to do it. We knew we couldn’t afford it, but a friend of ours said we would be doing our patriotic duty by running up our credit card debt. Just in case we might pull it off, we prioritized, by number twelve different dates from June 8, 2009 to January 18, 2010, with December 7, 2009 beoing our number 1. We decided that we probably wouldn’t be taking the kids, but we kept the option open, in case something miraculous happened (such as coming into the posession of millions of dollars and being able to afford extra plane tickets and an amazing nanny). Who knew? A lot could change in a year and a half.

What is a “Pilgrim at Large”?

Friday, December 25th, 2009

As previously mentioned, I’ve been thinking about elaborating on my pilgrimage experience in blog form. Part of me wishes I had been more diligent in recording my observances and experiences as they were actually happening in Israel. But another part of me understands that I need time to process things, and that my immediate recording of pilgrimage was bound to be a rough-draft note-taking and not a full elaboration of my experience.

One idea I’ve had is to write about pilgrimage for ten minutes a day, inspired by a “scene” from memory, a passage from my journal, or perhaps a quote or idea I’ve researched (such as comparisons between Baha’i pilgrimage and how other religions view and practice pilgrimage). Ideally, these blog entries could engender comments that may even inspire more blog entries, or would at least bring up new things to think about and/or discuss. However, due to some technological snag, my blog does not accomodate comments. This needs to change. But technology-related change happens very slowly in my world. Still, I must move forward!

I like the idea of a ten-minutes-a-day discipline. And I dislike my tendency to procrastinate. So here goes the first entry in my Pilgrim at Large portion of this blog. Topic to discuss: Why the title, Pilgrim at Large? (I’m going to set the microwave timer for 10 minutes and see how far my riffing takes me.)

Being a pilgrim is an isolated experience, with its quiet removal from the noise of daily concerns. Pilgrimage is enclosing and protective, like a family or meditation or a womb, and it is meant to be temporary. However, I believe that, like a family or meditation or a womb, the effects of such nurturing enclosure are meant to be lasting. After the experience of pilgrimage, a person is changed and is sent out into the world, on the loose, “at large”.

The value of being at large struck me when I pondered the lives of the Baha’is working at the Baha’i World Center (Haifa/Akka). Baha’is are not allowed to teach the Baha’i Faith in Israel, and there is no official Baha’i community in Israel. No Feasts* are held, there are no local spiritual assemblies, no firesides* or outward-reaching study circles*. Baha’is who work in Haifa and at the holy places in and around Akka are in a sort of shell, a gestation zone in which they can hold Ruhi classes*, study the writings, pray at the shrines, etc., but they cannot practice outwardly among non-Baha’is. It’s out of respect for an agreement between Abdul-Baha and the Israeli government that the situation exists. And I’m not saying that I want it to change. But I was thinking, while in Israel, that I might get tired of that after awhile.

It’s like exercising in a gym without going anywhere. I have done gym aerobics and benefited from it, but I enjoy exercise much more when it has an interactive purpose. When I move, I like going places, like walking somewhere outside, with sun singeing my pale skin, or cold pinching my cheeks and nose. It’s nice to be warm in a heated location, wearing leggings and a t-shirt, walking in front of a stationary television. But not nice enough for me. It’s boring. Somnorific.

Could I ever insinuate that a life serving in Haifa would be boring? Not really. As a matter of fact, just living in another culture would be exhilirating, and the opportunities to study Baha’i writings and to pray in the shrines would be wonderful. But it would also be like book learning without a practice element.

So now that I am home in Seattle, Washington, U.S.A., at large in the “real world”, I wonder how I have been changed. And what will I do with the changed person that I am?

During one of our first evenings in Haifa, Dr. Penny Walker, a member of the International Teaching Committee*, gave a talk to the pilgrims. In it, she talked about the change that pilgrims go through. In my journal, I wrote down, right after “Ridvan* 2008 – reread 1st paragraph” (though I don’t know if that’s where the following comes from):
“1) Transform ourselves
2) Help transform society”

I want to do both of those things.

Note: Items marked with an asterisk (*) may be unfamiliar to those who are not Baha’is. I will try to define and elaborate on some of these terms in later blog entries.

Pilgrim Thoughts

Thursday, December 24th, 2009

I am back from Israel. Doug and I spent approximately two weeks abroad, sans children, for the purpose of Baha’i Pilgrimage. Before going, I had the idea that I would write in my journal semi-constantly, or at least consistently, capturing the experience as it happened. But with illness and jet lag and busy schedule, I barely touched the surface of what I saw and heard and did and felt. I guess I could have written more on the plane, considering the trip was about 15 hours each way, but I spent most of that being uncomfortable, tired, and watching on-flight movies on the personal screen in the back of the seat in front of me.

One of the movies I watched was Julie and Julia, about a woman, Julie, who is a writer otherwise employed and who decides to blog about cooking her way through Julia Child’s first cookbook. It was a simple, feel-good movie, but I ended up crying for much of it – the I-recognize-a-truth-here kind of crying. I identified with both Julie and Julia in their quests to do something they love, something that inspires them and makes them better and ends up inspiring others. It was the culmination of all of my “What do I do now, God?” prayers to watch these women struggle and work and overcome as I flew back home to the real world and the prospect of needing to find a job, despite my writing aspirations.

The pilgrimage experience sat with me, somewhere deep, while I applied for jobs online (Early Head Start teacher, Dietary Clerk, Kitchen Aide), unpacked, and readjusted. I thought maybe my comments on the experience were used up, that maybe I had absorbed everything and didn’t have much to say about it. Then I saw my therapist, and he asked me how my trip was. Once I started talking, I had trouble stopping. I was surprised, but not that much. I know enough about myself to realize that sometimes all I need to get words out is an opportunity. I would like to give myself that opportunity. Inspired by the J&J movie, I have decided to write a blog inspired by my pilgrimage. I’m thinking of calling it “Pilgrim At Large”. It’s more of an idea than a solid decision at this point, since I have some details to work out. But if I write 10 minutes