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September 2019

Posted on September 21, 2019

Headache Weekend (and a head-related poem)

My almost-a-migraine experience is happening again today. It’s one that Doug and I have noticed mostly occurs weekends, and often during those for which I’ve made no specific plans, but for which I have many expectations. Sometimes I will think to myself, “I must clean my house!”, or “I need to help Jo organize her room!” or “I have to prep for a meeting!” or “What am I going to do about finding my calling and having some kind of lucrative and soul-enriching career!?” And then, the headache comes, causing my thoughts to transform into, “I can’t think with this kind of pain, so I might as well watch TV,” or “I don’t want to throw up,” or simply, “Ow.”

Fortunately, there are medicines in the world, and I took one of them about half an hour ago. It must be kicking in, because my shoulder/neck/behind-the-left-eye pain has dissipated to the point where it’s hardly there now. What a difference! I’ve gone from feeling nauseous and achey and lethargic to actually feeling like maybe doing something. Though I also feel like taking a nap.

These headaches might be caused by stress, menstruation, a general need to take it easy – but it could be that last night’s dinner of pizza and cheesy bread contributed, too.

On to the topic of writing: my Mom requested that I put this poem on my website, and I thought that I had, but I hadn’t. So here it is.

Rita Hayworth’s Forehead

A little background to help understand the poem:

Rita Hayworth began her life with the name Margarita Carmen Cansino. Her Spanish father and Irish mother were both dancers, and she grew up dancing, too. Not too many people know that Rita’s hair was naturally black, and that her hairline was originally much lower than the one we are used to seeing on her in movies. The Hollywood machine at that time required that she make herself look more “white”.

When I first saw pictures of Margarita Cansino, I had no idea why they had come up, since I had googled “Rita Hayworth”. The transformation is significant. And it made me sad that her original form of beauty was not acceptable for successful movie-making – at least not enough for her to be a star. She obviously had the talent and the acting skills and the drive to be a leading actress. But Hollywood’s and greater society’s prejudices would not allow her to get there without changing her appearance.

I had known that I wanted to write something entitled “Rita Hayworth’s Forehead” for years, but nothing congealed in my mind until I heard an author promoting her Rita Hayworth biography on NPR. The information in that interview gave me what I needed, and Rita’s eponymous forehead poem was born.

Posted on September 19, 2019

Gibberish is fun!

I wrote two poems and one song/poem yesterday in language chosen specifically for the fun sound patterns they make.

When I read these poems to my younger daughter, who famously dislikes most of my poetry, she said, “Mom. The reason Jabberwocky works is because some of the words make sense!” I knew she wouldn’t like it. I told her she is my best audience because she’s my worst audience. If I can handle her reaction to my poetry, I can handle any critique.

Seriously, these poems make me happy to read, sing, say out loud, and think about. Please find them in the Poetry section. They are titled:

Snerfinhoof

Befuzzled

Ziggindy bo!

Posted on September 2, 2019

Restful Weekend Labor

Yesterday I didn’t feel well. I went for  a walk with hubby & daughter, and couldn’t make it all the way back up the hill to the car. My head was throbbing, nausea creeping over me, and my heart was pounding and my breathing heavy, just from walking up a set of stairs. The two of them left me to sit on the top step while they walked ahead and then picked me up with the car.

So I took it easy yesterday, despite having some pre-guest house cleanup to do. I would do a little work, rest, work, then rest again. I would fold clothes, for example, until my neck/head started hurting and I felt dizzy. Then I would sit down and play sudoku or candy crush on the computer.

I also watched the rest of the Joyce Carol Oates Master Class I’ve been going through. I’ve only done a couple of her suggested writing exercises, and I’m wondering about posting one of them here.

The exercise in question is “burn through a scene”, giving oneself 45 minutes to write a scene, preferably one with 4 characters or fewer, “in one single location over a unified period of time”.

I wrote about my 20 year class reunion, in particular one point during which I tried to join in a conversation with 3 other classmates and felt completely shut out. It’s still in it’s first draft, so maybe I’ll work on it a little before putting it up here.

In the meantime, I will post a poem that I wrote in the car on the way to work a couple of weeks ago. It actually started out as a song, which is sometimes the case with my car-written poems. I’m not sure why I’m compelled to sing-write poem-songs. The words sometimes suggest a melody, I guess, and the tune helps me remember the words. Then when I’ve made it to work, before I go inside, I write the poem in my journal, singing it to recall the words.

By the time I’m off work, I’ve completely forgotten the tune, and looking at the words in my journal does nothing to bring it back. So I’ve started recording these mini songs on my phone. It’s a lovely little surprise when I play it back. (Though I would not call them good songs. Just entertaining, I guess.)

I’ve recorded three of these little songs on my phone so far. One has the line, “I’ve got eyeballs”. Another, very incomplete, contains the chorus “You’ve got it all”. The one I will post right now under Poems starts out, “How will you be with the water?”

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August 2019

Posted on August 3, 2019

Buddy Words

The other day a coworker introduced me to a new word.

He had asked me to let him know when our boss was available, and I said I might forget. Others in the office volunteered to help me remember. And he called those folks “accountabilibuddies”.

I love that word! It’s got seven syllables, which automatically makes it awesome, plus it’s got rhythm and alliteration and a fun sound to it over all. And it’s useful!

A quick Google search shows my co-worker was likely not the first to use this term, and the word has an almost-as-fun close cousin, “responsibilibuddy”.

These words make me want to think of other words that would sound as good having “buddy” added to the end. It seems the rule to follow is to use words that end in “ible” or “able”.

So here are some examples and their definitions. Feel free to use them if they seem relevant to your situation:

Flammabilibuddy – Arson partner

Affabilibuddy – Fellow friendly person. Or “friend”.

Abilibuddy – A pal who is just as competent as you are

Stabilibuddy – Someone you can lean on (and vice versa)

Remarkabilibuddy – What a guy/gal!

Some words that end in “ble” without the “i” or “a” in front also work:

Scrambilibuddy – Someone who also likes eggs for breakfast

Preambilibuddy – A friend who likes words before other words

And what about:

Practicalibuddy – Realistic friend

Permeabilibuddy – What ameba acquaintances call each other

Ostensibilibuddy – A supposed friend

Opposabilibuddy – Friend who likes to disagree

Have you got any other interesting buddy words? If so, I’d love to hear them!

8/3/19 – addition from my daughter: gullibilibuddy, which I might define as: someone who understands how easy it is to believe unlikely things.

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The Lovely White Flowers (that Smell of Poo)

The daisies, from a distance,
Are majestic, tall, and bright.
Their stems are green and sturdy,
Their stiff, splayed petals white.

Joy tickles me to see them,
Like static fountain spray,
Robustly flowing up from dirt
In cascading display.

However, when I wander up
To gaze in closer thanks,
My nose obstructs my gratitude,
Detecting something rank.

Could it be my cat has shat here?
Is something rotting in our midst?
Could a nearby human’s flatulence
Be what I have sniffed?

More likely it’s the flower,
So pure and proud and stinky,
That’s tricked me with its loveliness
And proved itself so hinky.

But what to me repugnates
Is to flies divine bouquet:
Fooled to think they’ve found poop,
They merrily pollinate.

And so is confirmed the wisdom
About judging books by covers,
Or flowers by their looks or smells,
Or discounting flies as lovers.

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Resolve

I work
To think and feel
To see and hear,
To know, but not to judge.

The idea:
Feel out options.
Long term plans
Depend on time and place frame.

If I am frameless picture,
Then schemes are plain and bold,
Unhindered by thoughts that supposedly formed them.

Spontaneity is an action plan
Made less-than-seconds ahead,
And a million years ago,
Like a seed that finally feels
Its time is right to grow.

I resolve to dissolve
All plans and expectations
In the ocean of True Self,

To let them wash ashore
One by one
Until maybe I see a pattern
And can fish out what really matters.
Until then,
I let myself float
In a sea of all,
And resolve.

Note: This poem doesn’t feel quite done to me.

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July 2019

Posted on July 22, 2019

Request from Mom

My Mom has been requesting a copy of one of my poems, so I will post it here, despite my having already posted something today.  It’s one of the poems I’ve memorized for reciting at friend or family gatherings.

It’s called The Lovely White Flowers that Smell of Poo. 

Enjoy!

Posted on July 21, 2019

Asking for Help

I’ve been stuck lately. There are different ways to describe it – hopeless, depressed, attenuated to failure.

Another way could be numb – to creativity, to possibility of change and fulfilling my potential. I go to my daily job, do what needs to be done from 8:30am to 3pm, maybe run an errand after work, go home, make dinner, and do very little the rest of the evening until I can finally put myself to bed with the justification that I have to get up for work the next day.

Somehow I manage to get the BARE minimum of my other duties accomplished. I do enough laundry to have something clean to wear, shop in little bits here and there to keep a modicum of food on hand, shower at least every other day. As far as my Baha’i responsibilities are concerned, there are assembly duties I have literally been avoiding for years, including archiving old assembly papers, calling National to ask about assembly business, updating membership and records. Guilt weighs heavy on me, but is only partially why I have so little energy to move forward.

Doug sees my struggles. He’s amazingly patient with me – more than I am with myself. He found a person online who offers life coaching and encouraged me to give her a call. (Her name is Penelope Trunk.) I have been considering it, but she charges $350 for a 1 hour phone call. And though the hour may give me some of the direction and momentum I need, there are several reasons I drag my feet.

1. $350 is about what I get paid for 3 6-hour days at work. For 18 hours I do my day gig for 1 hour of her time. I get spending anxiety as it is, and given our money situation, I don’t feel good about this ratio of input to output. Yes, due to not having insurance this year, we have some savings. But that will be spent on my dental implant, plus I would really like to replace the tub in the girls’ house, since it is gross, at best, and full of heath-damaging black mold at worst.

2. The Baha’i writings talk about asking God for help – a version of “ask and ye shall receive”. It feels like I am betraying God, like I don’t have full faith in Him if I ask someone else for help without asking God first.

Then again, I am reminded of the joke about the guy whose home is in the path of flood waters. People come to his door to warn him and offer to drive him to a safe zone. But his answer is, “God will save me.” Then, when the water enters his home, a rescuer in a boat comes by to pick him up. But the man refuses to go, saying “God will save me.” The flood is so bad that eventually the homeowner has to climb onto the roof to escape the waters. A helicopter comes to take him off the roof, but again he stays put, saying, “God will save me.” The man dies and goes to heaven, where he confronts God – “Why didn’t you save me?” God’s reply is, “What do you mean? I sent you a car, a boat, and a helicopter!”

So maybe Penelope Trunk is one of those versions of help that I need to accept and be grateful for.

But maybe I haven’t asked God for help in the proper way. Or maybe I haven’t listened well enough or comprehended His answer.

This is not a new issue for me, trying to figure out my destiny, my calling, and reconcile whatever that is with my need to earn money. I found a couple of undated, penciled poems on a random note pad today. The pages before them contain sketches of ideas for “Word Ferd” products. “Food for inner nourishment and outer decoration”, I have written. A knitted hat with “word ferd” on the brim. A skirt whose hem says “wordswordswords…” all the way around. A list of other products that could feature words on them: belts, t-shirts, shoelaces, earrings, etc. A list of things to purchase: “ACE 14-16 guage wire, gallon Ziplocs, Value Village – shelf- white mesh (hang on wall), baubles & pretties, Misc. tool things.”

Then there’s a poem about our old therapist who left town without explanation. (I can post that in Poems later).

And then this:

Resolve
To think and feel
To see and hear,
To know, but not to judge.
The plan
Is to feel out options.
Long term plans
Depend on the time/place frame.
But if I am a frameless picture,
Then plans are plain and bold,
Unhindered by thoughts that supposedly made them.
Spontaneity is a plan
Made less-than-seconds ahead,
And a million years ago,
Like a seed that finally feels
Its time is right to grow.
I resolve to dissolve
All plans and expectations
In the ocean of True Self,
To let them wash ashore
One by one
Until maybe I see a pattern
And can fish out what really matters.
Until then,
I let myself float
In a sea of all,
And resolve.

I will post an updated version of the above under “Poems”.

And I will ask God what to do.

I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that this is a difficult prospect for me. As Baha’u’llah said, “…souls shall be perturbed as they make mention of Me. For minds cannot grasp Me nor hearts contain Me.”

Even when I want to ask God what to do with my life, I don’t know exactly how to do it. Also, how do I hear the answer with all the noisiness of my neuroses and other issues?

I feel like life is way too complicated, with too many unrelated parts to make them work together coherently.

Then again, the human body is made of many seemingly unrelated parts that all work together quite wonderfully.

I believe that a Divine Force created human beings.

And I believe that Life, as an emanation of this force, offers innumerable metaphors for humanity’s education. The human body is one of my favorite metaphors.

So, with that, I take my brain, with its current pre-migraine sensations, and my strangely tweaky left shoulder, and my skin, basking in warmth and reveling in the cooling breeze, and I ask God, the Creator, to take these disparate elements that make up this person I have been made to be, and to move them into a fully functioning, Self-actualized form.

And to please help me recognize the modes of transportation that have been divinely sent to help me.

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Have Your Cake, and Eat it

Have your cake in front of you.
No camera phone. Just cake.
No fork, no spoon, no knife to cut,
No drink your thirst to slake.

No design or happy words,
Just frosting, flat and plain.
No chocolate/berry filling,
Just vanilla-y, gluteny grain.

That’s your cake on the table.
Do with it what you will.
Dress it up and grab cutlery?
Chow down till you get your fill?

How hungry are you? How resolved
On civilized deportment?
How valuable are aesthetics
To your pleasure of events?

Does your diet consist of protein
To balance the sugar rush?
Have you eaten your share of vegis
To get vitamins and such?

Do you view life in the long term –
Many meals yet to come?
Or get caught in life’s moments –
With your urges must you run?

And who else is around you?
Might they some hunger share?
Will you call them to your table,
Or pretend they are not there?

This existential questioning
Might curl you in a ball.
Must eating be this stressful?
It’s just cake, after all.

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Opposable

C                                      F       C
I am an odd one, what can I do?

C                                                 F          C
You have three joints; I only have two.

C                                                    F            C
You’re tall and thin, and I’m a stumpy thing.

C                                                  F               C
I don’t wear ornaments, and you wear rings.

C                                                        F                C
Just ‘cause I’m different doesn’t mean I’m dumb.

C                                     F        C
You are a finger and I am a thumb.

C                        F        C    G                                          C
Opposable, opposable. Aren’t we lucky we’re opposable?
Opposable, opposable. Aren’t we lucky we’re opposable?

F                                                   C
Sometimes I’m lonely going a different way.

G                                                          C
You stick with your friends; I stick out like a …

A
Sore thumb

F                                                        C
But we’re a good team; we pick up a lot.

F                                             C
I love what you are, I love what you’re not.

Whoa, Whoa.

If I was broken, you’d be broken, too.
‘Cause there’s so many things we couldn’t do.
Like putting on clothes and opening jars.
Not to mention eating candy bars.

Chorus:

Opposable, opposable. Aren’t we lucky we’re opposable?
Opposable, opposable. Aren’t we lucky we’re opposable?

So raise your hands up high and treat them well!
Put those digits to work and make them tell
The world
That we’re a family with so much to give.
Without each  other it’d be hard to live.
And sad.

Whoa, whoa.

So if we think that we’re on different sides,
We need to look down to where we abide.
We’re all connected to the place we stand.
Essential parts of an amazing hand!

Opposable, opposable. Aren’t we lucky we’re opposable?
Opposable, opposable. Aren’t we lucky we’re opposable?
Opposable, opposable. Aren’t we lucky we’re opposable?

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Opposable*

I am an odd one. What can I do?
You have three joints; I only have two.
You’re tall and thin, and I’m a stumpy thing.
I don’t wear ornaments, and you wear rings.
Just because I’m different, it doesn’t mean I’m dumb.
You are a finger, and I am a thumb.
And we’re lucky we’re opposable.

Sometimes I’m lonely going a different way.
You stick with your friends, I stick out like a
Sore thumb.
But we’re a good team. We pick up a lot.
I love what you are. I love what you’re not.
We’re lucky we’re opposable.

If I was broken, you’d be broken, too.
Because there are so many things we couldn’t do.
Like putting on clothes, and opening jars –
Not to mention opening eating candy bars!
We’re lucky we’re opposable!

So come on! Let’s treat each other well!
Let’s put these digits to work and make them tell
The world
That we’re a family, with so much to give.
Without each other, it’d be hard to live.
And sad.

So if we think that we’re on different sides,
We need to look down to where we abide.
We’re all connected to the place we stand.
Essential parts of an amazing hand.
And we’re lucky we’re opposable.

*This was originally written as a song, but I have also read it to audiences as a poem.
You’ll find the original under Songs, also called Opposable.

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Ways to Tell a Story

I like to tell a story
Thoroughly and true –
Dig in and investigate
The pieces through and through        

Or fluff it like a pillow
Snuggle up and rest,
Grab a nearby blanket,
And make myself a nest

Or play with it and dance it,
Kick up its happy heels,
Ride with it on roller skates
And fly above its wheels

Or live it in my daily life,
Be my story’s plot,
Elaborate my character,
Inquire and cast my lot.

Everyone’s a story,
Parts real and parts pretend.
We can’t see all the elements,
Or know how things will end.

However told: dug, fluffed or played
Or something else entire,
We can find in other’s stories,
Themes that will inspire.

So whether yours is whisper soft
Or grab-some-earplugs bold,
Your story is important.
Make sure it’s being told.